Bill Pullman, Bob Baffert, Brian D'Arcy James, Bryan Cranston, dating, fort lauderdale, gay, gay culture, George Clooney, Henry Czerny, humor, Ira Glass, john jernigan, point of view, south Florida, Steve Spurrier, wilton manors
alternate title: Old White Men I Have Known
Since I was 16 years old and driving to Birmingham every Saturday night with my fake ID I have always liked older men. When I was a high school senior there was this one girl who I thought I might have loved, but I had a major crush on her father, and if forced to choose…how you doin’, Paul?
I’ll blame the attraction exclusively to older men on the lack of a positive male role model as a child. My father was peace-out! when I was a baby and my grandfather was an asshole who used to hit us in the back of the head. I was an only child, the first grandchild, surrounded by women who babied and smothered and over-indulged me in everything, I had special meals made for me, never brought homework home, never went to church*, never ate at the table, won’t eat any type of vegetable, never had a curfew, never had a spanking, never was grounded, or made to do chores, or really do anything I didn’t feel like doing.
I wonder, since I ONLY like older men, when will I like a guy and then shit! realize he’s younger than I am? That fateful day is coming, but I’m not an old fella yet…am I? I can still hold it down in the bedroom…in short spurts (literally and figuratively).