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alternate title: Men are such stupid simple creatures

Let me start by saying I have only male parts, not a hermaphrodite…hundreds of men can attest to that. Maybe I don’t want to be a hermaphrodite per se, it’s just that men are so stupid and simple and visual and obvious…I envy the fact that a woman will take the time to get to know a man on a different level, scratch below the surface…hold off on having sex until there is actual emotion in play. The whole time I’ve been in Fort Lauderdale, I’ve been trying to show various men my great big pink pulsing throbbing…BRAINS, with absolutely no success. So if men are such base animals whose little brains only react to physical stimuli, then that’s what I’ll give ’em. My New Year’s resolution was to get back into fighting shape, to my ideal weight of 145 pounds, to have a 2-pack or at least a completely flat stomach. I’ve been in pretty good shape 4 or 5 times over the years, luckily it doesn’t take much to get me back there…mainly just physical activity and cutting back on the sugar (goodbye tres leches and dulce leches) and it’s all good. I’ve started playing pickup ball again and I’m walking the dogs every evening, so suck it dumb mens. I’ll lose my ten pounds, get all tan and toned, and be back in the high life again. That’s my hope for the New Year anyway…I feel like Carrie saying “Your girl is lovely Hubble.” Let me try to dumb down my intellect and tone up my body…I won’t want for admirers then, they just ain’t gonna be smart ones.

fat me 2011, fat me 2006, kinda skinny me 2010, real skinny me 2005 , skinny me & the world famous Venus Shante-Deviss 2003