So I’m doing my laundry at Fabulous Coin Laundry on N Federal (yesss it’s gay). I put my clothes in the dryer and walk across the street to Barnes & Nobles. I pluck Writer’s Digest & Writer’s Yearbook from the magazine rack and have a seat. I immediately notice this guy. He’s sitting on the floor Indian-style in one of the aisles, studiously typing on his laptop. He’s very cute, 50-ish, maybe 5’7, glasses, salt & pepper hair, yes please.
Maybe he’s lonely. Maybe he’s always wanted to co-parent two wild, bad-ass furry gremlins. Maybe he’s straight?
I walk to the bathroom and give myself a once-over, and don’t like what I see. I need a haircut. I haven’t been sleeping well and my eyes look tired, plus one of them is bigger than the other (a sure sign of sleep deprivation). I don’t feel cute and I don’t have that spark or energy that I would need to walk up and loom over this guy and introduce myself out of the blue…so that ain’t happenin.’ I scribble out a note saying hello with my blog address and a request to check it out after 7 p.m. (15 minutes from now). I pace back and forth for like 5 minutes until I decide on a young mother with a sleeping toddler who’s sitting at one of the tables reading a book. “Hello there, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day would you please give that man this note from me, once I am out of the store? ” She says she will and like my idol Sweet Brown I ran up outta there. Hopefully she wasn’t homophobic and didn’t just threw the note in the trash… Cupid hook me up please.
Maybe this guy is my soulmate but he’s super shy and insecure and maybe not real comfortable with his sexuality yet and has noticed how cute I am and wants me real bad and maybe he has just adopted a little Asian baby for us and maybe he’s working on his soon-to-be published novel that will catapult us to West Hollywood and maybe he has a washer and dryer at his house and maybe he has a sweet tooth and keeps his industrial size freezer fully stocked with Ben & Jerry’s and Haagen-Dazs. Plus he’s obviously limber and spry as he is observably able to sit in the floor for long stretches, no worry about a broken hip or anything like that.
Maybe he’s sweet and patient and kind. Maybe he’s the one.