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Murder She Wrote

Cricket is ambivalent about Halloween, she can take it or leave it. Squeak does Not care for it, in fact she hates it. What happened to cause this emotional reaction to this holiest of gay holidays was that one year Thing 1 and Thing 2 came to my door trick or treating and scared Squeak real, real bad. She didn’t know what the hell they were, some kind of animal or!? She was getting ready to tear ’em up, but I restrained her and threw her out in the back yard. Since I’m such a good parent, and due to her undiagnosed mental health issues, the Jernigan clan decided to just chill at home this evening on the couch. Everybody settled in to watch Love & Hip Hop, when Paul the Pastel Bear (a known homosexual) growled at Squeak or something. I’m not sure if Squeak was holding on to some residual Halloween anger, or if she is homophobic, but the next thing I knew, she howled at the moon like a werewolf, grabbed up gay Paul and tore his belly out! He’s dead, killed, murdered. That’s how we roll, 3rd Ward Magnolia ya heard?



#2 asleep