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Semmes, Alabama, is named for a Confederate admiral. Shockingly, the people of Semmes, Alabama, felt a little weird about an “all-male, African-American gay dance team from Mobile” impersonating sexy Santa gals at their annual Christmas parade. If by weird, you mean irate.

The 3,000-strong population of Semmes apparently likes its Christmas parade the way it likes its nooses: straight. And the Friends of Semmes, who put on the parade, feel just awful that the town’s upstanding citizens and children were forced to see the young African-American gentlemen of the Prancing Elites in action, according to Mobile’s Fox 10:

[Prancing Elites] Group Captain Kentrell Collins said he had every reason to believe the routine would be welcomed at the Semmes Christmas parade. After all, they were invited.

“I said, ‘we’re all over 21 and we’re guys.’ She was so excited. She was like ‘I didn’t know they had any groups like that in Mobile,'” Collins said.

However, instead of applause or cheers group members said they heard lots of jeers.

“Some of them were saying stuff like ‘Oh my God, what’s that?'” dancer Adrian Clemons said.

Claudia Davis, area white woman, spoke to the TV station on behalf of wide-mouthed concerned citizens everywhere. “I was outraged and appalled,” she said, as she stood shaking beside her presumably now-warped daughter:

“I never expect anything like this at the Semmes Christmas parade!.. If they were gonna put this… kind of… activity in the parade, they should have notified the people of Semmes so that we had a choice whether we wanted out child to attend and see something like that.”
Indeed. Besides naming its fair town in honor of a secessionist who was arrested for treason after the War of Northern Aggression, Semmes’ other claims to fame are that it has its own zip code and Walmart.