The White Party was last weekend, Art Basel is this whole week, and the Book of Mormon is about to start a weeklong run…sadly, budgetary constraints and the Man keeping me down will not allow me to enjoy these fun things that homosexuals like. I can still go flea market shopping though, look at all my Treasure! From the Swap Shop in Fort Lauderdale, ya heard?

A pound puppy monkey, a old chimpanzee Curious George? monkey, and Po the Teletubbie (George stunk and burst when I put him in the wash) $1 each, $3

Tupac and Gina Cascone memoirs, 50 cents each, $1 #tupacisalive

Total toothpastes, $1 each, $3

A black cat that Cricket has already halfway murdered $1

2 pink harnesses, one is Martha Stewart, $1 each, $2

A pair of 5 pound barbells, so i’ll be all swole and have muscles, $1

2 George Foreman grills, $1 each, $2 and both work fine!

A Cupcake Brown memoir and A Beginner’s Guide to Martial Arts, 50 cents each, $1

a baking pan $1

3 boxes of Nag Champa $5 I haven’t burned Nag Champa for quite a while, and my luck has been crappy…maybe burning it again will change my karma or something

*not pictured: 2 Mountain Dews, a sesame cake, a grape snow cone, a corn dog and 2 arepas