On some nights, for whatever reason, Flamingo Park decides to turn off some of their park lights, probably to conserve energy. One night recently the park was dimmed this way and a bunch of white people with fluorescent lights and whistles were jogging in a strung-out pack through the park. I think they were from one of the big fitness centers on Alton Road. This was my conversation with the dogs and two middle-aged French ladies on that evening:

To Cricket and Squeak, after watching the people jog and wave their glow sticks and whistle on through: “Stupid ass-white people, what is you gonna do?”
Then I say “Stupid women need to be careful, it’s all dark and shit, they might get raped”
After I make this staement, I look behind me to see these 2 older women who were apparently walking behind me and listening to my conversation with my children. One of the ladies, in I think a French accent says either “Racist” or “Rapist” as they both stop walking. I look back at them, kinda laugh, and say “Just joking.” They cross the street at Jefferson and 11th giving me ignorant looks.

Things I shoulda/woulda/coulda said:
“I’m white, I can say that”
“My dogs talk to me telepathically”
“French people smell”
“I’m gay, so I wouldn’t rape women”
“Je veux violer tu”
“Je viole tu”
“Konichiwa bitches”