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The Gay Road Less Traveled

Tag Archives: adoption

Chronic Childhood Trauma

12 Tuesday Sep 2017

Posted by johnjernigan in John Jernigan, My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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adoption, bear, child abuse, Domestic Violence, health, Life, medical, mental health, News, relationships, science, social work, trauma

My class curriculum includes considerable time spent on trauma-informed care and helping my prospective adoptive families succeed in parenting children who have suffered abuse or neglect. I use the example of a Bear in the Woods (at the 8-minute mark in this Ted Talk video on Childhood Trauma by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris).

Significant damage to the emotional and physical health of children who are exposed to high levels of adversity/trauma occurs over time (chronic trauma). They are more likely to engage in high-risk behavior, and to develop heart disease or cancer. Our brains have a stress response system, in the hypothalamic and adrenal glands, that governs our fight or flight response in a situation. Imagine you’re walking in the forest and you see a bear. Immediately, your brain sends a response to your adrenal glands: Release stress hormones! Adrenal! Cortisol! Your heart starts to pound, your pupils dilate, your airways open up, and you are ready to either fight that bear or run from that bear! And that is wonderful, if you are in the forest, with a bear. The problem is what happens when the bear comes home every night, in the form of domestic violence, or physical abuse, or molestation. This system is activated over and over and over again, and it goes from being life-saving to health damaging. Children are especially sensitive to this repeated stress-activation, because their brains and bodies are just developing. High doses of adversity affect their brain structure and function, their developing immune systems and hormonal systems.

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People are Stupid

23 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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adoption, culture, gay, gay adoption, Haiti, inspirational, LGBT, Miami, perspective, point of view, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

 

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These pics are of maybe my favorite all-time child in my 10 years of social work. Her name is Joy, a little Haitian girl from Miami. She was on my caseload the whole time I was in south Florida and I spent a lot of time with her. I’ve since moved back to St. Petersburg. About 3 weeks ago I was so happy to find out that a family in Pinellas County had been matched with her for adoption and better yet my bestie Kristie Giancola had been assigned to complete their Adoption Home Study. Joy was getting adopted and I would get to see her again, yeah!!! Late last week the family called Kristie and told her they had changed their mind, they didn’t want to adopt Joy anymore, because they had concerns she “wasn’t smart enough” (apparently Joy had forgotten their bio daughter’s name in their phone conversation). Joy is still in a foster home in Miami, available for adoption. Social work in south Florida is so shitty. I was worried when I left that her new case manager wouldn’t have any sense of urgency in finding her a home, and that appears to be the case. I just looked on the Miami Dade Heart Gallery website and there is no picture or bio for Joy 😦  Some pretty horrible things happened to her that lead to removal from her parents, and now the family she thought were going to be her new mommy and daddy have changed their mind. Kristie had to close the case and won’t be doing those DOUCHEBAGS home study now!

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A Pure Sweet Moment

23 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Tags

adoption, autism, culture, gay, gay adoption, inspirational, LGBT, love, perspective, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg

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Last night I covered a group home visit for a co-worker Matt in Clearwater to see a 10 year old. Matt had warned me that this 10 year old wouldn’t talk to me and probably wouldn’t even look at me since he didn’t know me, as he is autistic and almost entirely nonverbal. This kid made me so happy, when the house mother brought me in and told this little boy that I was there to see him he got up and immediately came to me. I thought he was going to give me a hug but instead he turned away from me and stood really close, leaning the back of his head on my chest. He then made several contented sounding noises that I heard to be happy greetings. I wanted to give him a hug but I was aware that he didn’t like to be touched unless he initiated it. Instead I tousled his hair and patted his shoulder as he leaned into me, and simply talked to him for a few minutes about everything and nothing. It was maybe the sweetest best thing that had ever happened to me. His foster mother remarked that it was really strange because he had never been open and friendly with anyone he didn’t know. He made my day, week, year! This 10 year olds picture and bio are on the Pinellas County Heart Gallery. He is available for adoption with lots of other great kids! I specifically urge my LGBT community to consider adoption, we have so many great kids that nobody wants…

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A Wonderful Christmas Gift

29 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, My Heart

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adoption, celebration, Christmas, gay, happiness, love, perspective, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

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I had the honor of finalizing this awesome teenager’s adoption today! He’s such a polite and well mannered and sweet young man, who always has a smile on his face. Now it’s a Merry Christmas ! (and they lived happily ever after).

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I’s a Hero!

18 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in John Jernigan, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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adoption, funny, gay, humor, queer, social worker, St. Petersburg Florida, superheroes, Tampa Bay, Teenage Mutant Ninja Tutles

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My company’s  theme  for our yearly gathering was Superheroes. Some of the Adoptions team were Ninja Turtle (ish). Not me, was too gay

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Saying Goodbye to My Favorite Child

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, My Heart

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adoption, gay, gay adoption, LGBT, love, Miami Florida, perspective, point of view, queer, Saint Petersburg Florida, social worker, Tampa Florida

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I am leaving Miami, headed back to St. Pete. Had my goodbye visit with my favorite little nugget. God I’m going to miss her chubby little face! When I told her I was leaving she started to cry, and as I drove home I cried a little bit too.

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The Adoption Option

21 Saturday Mar 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, My Heart

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adoption, best gay blog, DCF, gay, gay adoption, gay marriage, Gay Rights, john jernigan, lifestyle, perspective, point of view, social worker, South Beach Miami

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I finalized the adoption of my favorite teen this week! I continue to be amazed at the strength and resilience that the children on my caseload have. This teenager has a 4.2 weighted GPA and is going to attend Yale. She has never missed a day of school in her life, despite suffering a childhood of emotional abuse by her mentally ill biological mother. Well she’s adopted now! And they lived happily ever after…

I urge my gay community to look to the foster care system for adoption. Thousands of children are removed from their biological parents following abuse and neglect in the U.S. on a daily basis. I have about 30 kids on my caseload waiting on someone like you to love them. You could be their forever homes and families.

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A Baby, Left at the Hospital

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in introducing, My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Tags

adoption, babies, cute, gay, gay adoption, gay marriage, john jernigan, love, Miami, perspective, point of view, social services, social worker

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I have a new little one on my caseload, a 2-week old left at the hospital by his mother, born drug-addicted. Friday morning I drove south to Homestead to pick him up. He’s so tiny. I wish I had my life together, and maybe a rich husband, I sure would love to adopt this little nugget myself 🙂

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Who wouldn’t be proud to call me their son now?

01 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by johnjernigan in introducing, My Favorite Things, My Heart

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adoption, culture, fort lauderdale, gay blog, inspirational, Life, lifestyle, Miami, perspective, point of view, social services, social worker

An enlightening story from a man who grew up in the foster care system and aged out without being adopted. Take the five minutes to listen to his story, and you’ll be glad you did. If you don’t have the time to watch the whole video, scroll to the 5:28 mark and watch until the end. #adoptuskids

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Brothers Find an Adoptive Home and Forever Family

17 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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adoption, atlanta, culture, cute, dating, DCF, gay, inspirational, MSW, perspective, point of view, pop culture, relationships, social worker

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I drove to Ocala to place nine and one year old siblings in their forever adoptive home this evening. I feel really good about this case. It’s especially rewarding because we battled with the Guardian ad Litem program, who were advocating to split the boys up, because they didn’t feel the nine year old was adoptable. The brothers are laughing and playing and singing songs. I’m taking them to their forever home, with their new mommy and daddy, and I’m Feeling Good!

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Make Me Babies

07 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by johnjernigan in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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adoption, atlanta, Brad Pitt, buy John's book on Amazon, cute, dating, David Beckham, funny, gay, LGBT, love, queer, relationships, Tom O'Neal

nugget2

I used the Make Me Babies app to see what a baby boy that my current crush and I had together would look like…damn that baby is CUTE! My baby with Brad Pitt is also cute, but crap my offspring with David Beckham is fugly 😦

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Greatest Valentine’s Gift

14 Friday Feb 2014

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adoption, Adoption worker, atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, child protection, culture, cute, entertainment, gay, happiness, inspirational, love, MSW, perspective, point of view, social work, social worker, Tampa Bay, Valentine's Day

Greatest Valentine's Gift

Today was an extremely emotional day for me, ending with me crying in my car. I wasn’t crying because something awful had happened in court on this day (though I have a few times in the past). There was just so much emotion and love in that court house, it was almost overwhelming. I had the adoption finalization for two of my children, sisters, ages 9 and 6. My 9 year-old, who is such a sweet and sensitive child, climbed into her adoptive mother’s lap and cried throughout the hearing. Her cute little chubby cheeks were red, and she was so worked up. Everyone in the court room, even the normally hard-nosed Judge and the deputies, had tears in their eyes or were crying. I was bawling. After the ceremony, the little girl said she was crying because “I’m happy to be adopted, but sad because me and my little sister lost our birth mother.”

And they lived happily ever after

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart

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Saturday Night Date

25 Saturday Jan 2014

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adoption, buy John's book on Amazon, cake, dating, Frida's Bakery, funny, Gasparilla, gay, humor, john jernigan, love, relationship, sex, sweets, Tampa Bay, Ybor City

Saturday Night Date

Surprise, a man has disappointed me, again. We had plans for Saturday night, maybe Gasparilla or at least Ybor. Sadly, at around noon he sent me a one sentence text canceling. Today my friend Myraida and I taught a Parenting class together, and several of our prospective adoptive parents received their certificates, and are now ready and eligible to adopt our children. Obviously we can’t really take money or luxurious gifts from our families, but one of the women, who knew where my desk was, left me a whole Buttercream Yellow Cake with Fresh Fruit from Frida’s Bakery! I appear to have a new date for the evening.

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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To Find a Husband

14 Saturday Dec 2013

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adoption, child protection, culture, dating, DCF, funny, gay, gay blog, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, Life, love, queer, relationships, social worker, the gay road less traveled

To Find a Husband

Dozens…hundreds…thousands? of men have validated various of my physical abilities over the years, but I remain insecure, and I worry that no one will ever get to know my big, hot, pink, throbbing…BRAIN.

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart

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Adopt Shortcake

09 Monday Dec 2013

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adoption, boston terrier, Cricket the French Bulldog, culture, dogs, french bulldog, funny, inspirational, john jernigan, love, new orleans, Pensacola, pet adoption, pets, pitbull, Squeak the Boston Terrier, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

Adopt Shortcake

Shortcake needs a forever home! My friend Jessica has been taking care of her for a few weeks now, but she lives in a shotgun house with four dogs and her man, and she can’t add a 5th 😦 She would be willing to drive around Florida or to Alabama or Mississippi or Nola to bring Shortcake to her forever home.

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart

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Superstar Social Worker

06 Friday Dec 2013

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adoption, child protection, culture, funny, gay, humor, inspirational, john jernigan, LGBT, MSW, perspective, Ryan Gosling, social services, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

Superstar Social Worker

John Jernigan has finalized six Adoptions, finding forever families for children who have been removed from their parents for abuse or neglect.

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart

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A Teenager asks somebody, anybody to adopt him

16 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart

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adoption, Birmingham, child protection, culture, gay, inspirational, john jernigan, LGBT, new orleans, opinion, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

adoption-266x350http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2013/oct/15/orphan-goes-church-and-asks-someone-anyone-adopt-h/

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The Gay Road Less Traveled

A friend of mine who used to be one of the hard working under appreciated social workers for the State here in Pensacola has written a book now available on Kindle, John Jernigan’s “The Gay Road Less Traveled.” I purchased it tonight to start it, couldn’t out it down, it was so funny. Graphic, real, and hysterical, John’s writing is endearing, funny, smart and if you happen to be drinking coffee, it may shoot out of your nose at some point during one of his vignettes. You can read it on Kindle.

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