Dear Diary,
On days like these I have to question if I have a gypsy curse , voodoo or worse hoodoo, did somebody put roots on me?! My story begins last week, when I met this lovely man on the interwebs. He is cute, smart, former military, and is clever in his texting and emails. We made a date to have lunch at Lemongrass on today (Saturday) and then we were going to the Warhol Exhibit at the Dali. I have been preparing all week for this day, getting an expensive haircut, buying a new Polo shirt to match my eyes, Just for Men-ing my eyebrows, cleaning the apartment, bathing the gremlins, and finally calling in sick to work and going to the beach (so I will be all tan/red and healthy looking when we have our joyous meet). I am so excited, I am ready, the dog days are over, this is my husband!
During the night, I wake up a couple of times rubbing my eye, which is bothering me for some reason. I finally get up for good around 8 a.m. and have a look in the mirror: it’s bad, real bad. My right eyelid is red and swollen, making my eyes observably different sizes. I panic and google and text my friends and figure out I apparently have a stye. Now this is where I start to question being cursed. I have never had a stye in my life, didn’t even know what it was, but I mysteriously have one on the only, only, only day that I am meeting this beautiful man? FML…
I can’t let my future ex-husband see my like this, and when I explain my situation he (quickly) agrees to push our glorious meeting out a few days, when I am better. He was very agreeable to this, especially after I disclosed it was vaguely contagious 😦 I hope he is the patient and loving and kind man that i have imagined him to be, and will wait for my disease to dissipate. I just can’t let him see his future blushing bride with one big eye and one little eye, it ain’t cute.