I was out on a stroll with my bitches (a stroll not the stroll) on Washington Avenue when I spied with my good eye (the big one) a box of BC powders and a bunch of little plastic bags all brand-new.
A) Some tourists was bout to get suckered but 5oh had rolled through and they got slung in a panic
B) Some nice old lady was jewelry collecting and got a awful headache
C) Jesus or Allah or Buddha or Tupac really wants me to start selling drugs again ?
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The Struggle is Real Ya’ll…Konichiwa Bitches
She Photographed Herself Everyday For A Year. This just looked like another one of those videos where someone takes a picture of themselves every day of the year, but by the end you realize it was something much different.
At the flea market on Sunday, the Mexican vendor offered me Tamarind as a Sno-Cone flavor. I declined, instead choosing Red flavor, but did buy this Tamarind soda at Walmart. It tastes pretty good, kind of a more tart ginger ale…way better than that nasty Kombucha I recently tried, for the first and last time. Also, Jeff Foxworthy’s Grits Chips sadly taste like old unsalted Fritos.
“I remember she was crazy stupid thick”
“I don’t recall”
Sir, you cannot say No to the question until it’s been asked
Didn’t you serve 10 months in Riker’s Island in 2010? “I don’t recall”
7/3/14 1 p.m. 2 buttercream and 2 chocolate cupcakes my supervisor brought in (no pic, refer to my belly fat for reference)
@thejohnjernigan, animals, atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, Cricket the French Bulldog, culture, cute, dating, dogs, funny, gay, Lesbian, Life, love, pets, pugs, puppies, relationships, Squeak the Boston Terrier, Tampa Bay, Tom O'Neal
When his girlfriend had to put down her beloved 10-year-old beagle, this thoughtful guy knew just what to do to help cure her broken heart. It’s a rainy Thursday night in St. Pete, and I am feeling kind of sad and lonely. I had a good cry watching this video.
@thejohnjernigan, adoption case manager, adoptions, atlanta, Bebe's kids, bloods, buy John's book on Amazon, child protective services, crips, culture, cute, funny, gangs, gay, humor, juvenile deliquency, LGBT, Life, love, MSW, perspective, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
When I was a case manager in Pensacola, I had a big office all to myself. I would collect small toys at different thrift stores and flea markets, and kept them in said office for the children on my caseload. 2 years later, I still have bags full of toys. I had a home visit scheduled this evening, to see a three-year old on one of my cases. I brought my bag of toys for him, and the other foster kids in the home, and the foster mother’s grandbaby, with the plan that each toddler could have 2-3 toys. At my arrival, the “gang” and I do mean gang included my three-year old *Bubba, siblings *Peanut and *Bean three and 1 1/2 years old, and the foster mother’s granddaughter *Atari, 4 years old. All were observed to have snotty noses.
The five of us got down on the living room floor and I dumped the bag of toys out. They all started grabbing and pushing. Bean sat down right in the middle of the pile. I tried to help Atari pick out the few girls toys, but Peanut snatched up a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake, causing Atari to start screaming and trying to kick Peanut, who smartly remained just out of reach. His little brother Bean wasn’t as lucky. He was intently slobbering and putting toys in his mouth when Atari hit him over the head with a Triceratops, hard, and he started screaming and crying. I tried to explain to Peanut that he didn’t want girls toys, but his foster mother (who is ancient, older than her own mother, and whose voicemail jumps right into quoting scripture without so much as a hello) shrugged and said “Peanut be likin’ girl stuff, that’s how he do.”
Bubba was stockpiling toys behind him, and Peanut and Atari started grabbing again. Peanut put poor Boots up his nose. Atari was trying to be sneaky and was hiding toys underneath her, looking off into space so she wouldn’t have to make eye contact with me. Bubba and Peanut started grabbing up toys and running them to their bedroom, in the back of the house. Old Mother Hubbard didn’t say shit. Atari refused to stand up, because she was sitting on several toys, including Stitch, Eor and Oscar the Grouch. She never stood up until I left, furtively watching me with her little thievin’ eyes. As soon as I had three or four toys in front of one of them and thought I was good, the others had grabbed up more, except baby Bean, who needed changing, BADLY 😦
All three of the older gremlins got 5-6 toys each at least, and when I started putting the remaining toys back in the bag, all four of them started screaming again, yelling No! Stop! Mine! Peanut even started crying. As I made my exit Bubba and Peanut were wrestling and screaming over a giraffe, Atari was nesting on her stolen loot, and Bean was gnawing Miss Piggy’s face off.
* Not their names
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Due to budgetary constraints, “Tanisha” was my only purchase at the Wagon Wheel flea market today: 25 cents! I’m going to put her up on a shelf, rather than let Cricket murder her. It would be kind of racist, plus I don’t want Cricket and Squeak to start thinking they can bite black babies (and other babies as well, I guess). Check out the video I shot, some of my kinfolk gettin’ they groove on.
A Girl Named Zippy, atlanta, autobiographies, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon, culture, essays, funny, gay, Haven Kimmel, humor, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, love, memoirs, perspective, point of view, writers
I read this book last week, sitting with my mom in the nursing home, until she passed away. Zippy’s sharp humor and funny observations helped me through a tough time in my life.
“…she waited until she and my grandfather Anthel were just home from their honeymoon, and then sat him down and told him this: “Honey, I know you like to take a drink, and that’s all right, but be forewarned that I ain’t your maid and I ain’t your punching bag, and if you ever raise your hand to me you’d best kill me. Because otherwise I’ll wait until you’re asleep; sew you into the bed; and beat you to death with a frying pan.” Until he died, I am told, my grandfather was a gentle man.”
“That cat doesn’t have a lick of sense,’ I said, sighing.
Well, honey, he’s not right in the head,’ Dad said, flipping his cigarette into the front yard.
I glared at him. ‘And just what do you mean by that?’
Dad counted on his fingers. ‘He’s cross-eyed; he jumps out of trees after birds and then doesn’t land on his feet; he sleeps with his head smashed up against the wall, and the tip of his tail is crooked.’
Oh yeah? Well, how about this: he once got locked in a basement by evil Petey Scroggs in the middle of January and survived on snow and little frozen mice. When I’m cold at night he sleeps right on my face. Of that whole litter of kittens he came out of he’s the only one left. One of his brothers didn’t even have a butthole.’
“I stand corrected. PeeDink is a survivor.”
“What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won’t give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.”
“My mother was good at reading books, making cinnamon biscuits, and coloring in a coloring book. Also she was a good eater of popcorn and knitter of sweaters with my initials right in them. She could sit really still. She knew how to believe in God and sing really loudly. When she sneezed our whole house rocked. My father was a great smoker and driver of vehicles..He could hold a full coffee cup while driving and never spill a drop, even going over bumps. He lost his temper faster than anyone.”
“I respect every way in which you are a troublemaker, now get up and do what your mother says.”
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The 2nd season starts Thursday June 19th!!!
The story begins in the year 2046: Earth has been radically transformed, causing changes in topography, the extinction of plant and animal species, and the emergence of new species. The series follows Joshua Nolan and his adopted Irathient daughter Irisa, who have put down roots in Defiance, a city-state community where humans and several extraterrestrial races, collectively known as Votans, coexist over the partially re-built ruins of St. Louis.
Of the 8 Votan races, my favorites are the IRATHIENTS, which includes Irisa and a secondary character that is a favorite of mine, Rynn Sukar.
” Irathients are a proud, tribal people with a deep love of the natural world and aggressive demeanor. They are often perceived as feral by others. Irathients are handsome and naturally athletic. They are fierce fighters and pride themselves on their low-tech hand-to-hand combat skills. They resent the Castithans sense of superiority. Irathients view Humans as crude and lacking respect for the natural world.”
“CASTITHANS appear very similar to humans. Their coloration is very pale, however, verging on albinism, with pale white skin, white hair, and pale yellow eyes. The Castithan society is aristocratic and hierarchical, and the other Votan races view them as arrogant. The higher-caste Castithans living on Earth tended to assume that they could treat the other Votan races as essentially their new lower-castes, feeling they should lead the Votanis Collective while the other races serve them.” Another favorite character of mine is Stahma Tarr, Datak Tarr’s wife. While Datak is the leader of his people, Stahma is the real power, running the show from behind the scenes.
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My ex came and got Squeak from me, to spend the weekend with him and Possum. He has also made it painfully clear that we will never be together again, also that he never really loved me, at least “not the way I am remembering it.”
It’s 4:30 in the a.m., and I’m not sleeping. I take Cricket for a long walk, there’s a full moon and the air is electric.
My mother is 61 years old. She has refused her dialysis and it is simply a matter of time. Over the next week, I will take her lunch and sit with her, reading my book or watching TBN. She continues to pray that I will “be healed” from my homosexuality and will find a nice Christian wife. I lie to her and tell her I am going to church in St. Petersburg, and it gives her some small comfort, so that’s okay. If she doesn’t pass away this week, I will be forced to have our final goodbye on next Sunday, as I am financially destitute, plus I’ve used up all of my PTO and my bills and rent await.
I feel like my mother’s mental health robbed her of happiness and that she never really enjoyed a good quality of life. When the moon is full like this, and I am feeling restless and anxious, I worry that my mental health will soon betray me as well, and I am pessimistic most of the time. I fear I will always be alone, ending up in some nursing home with nothing, just like my mother.
Cricket knows something is wrong. She is a good girl, smart and intuitive and empathetic. Cricket gives me a lick, then curls up next to me on the bed and starts snoring. She will be there for me in the morning, tucked in and sleeping against my stomach…she knows she is loved and cherished, anyway.
Publix fried chx with Sriracha, then a red velvet cheesecake. And I know it’s all hipster trendy and whatnot, but I finally tried Kombucha, and it’s nasty, yuck 😦
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64 cent Wal-Mart Great Value Chef Boyardee and a big cup of coffee…I got such refined tastes and whatnot…a foodie, ya heard?
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An expert in his field (college football draft guru), former safety for the Giants, analyst for the NFL Network…masculine, handsome, tough, smart. Yes, please! John Jernigan-Mayock
@thejohnjernigan, atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, Clark Gregg, dating, fun quizzes, funny, gay, gay dating, humor, LGBT, lifestyle, Marvel, pop culture, queer, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, Steven Chicurel, Sugar in My Bowl, tampa
I took Bitecharges’ quiz “What Type of Person Are You?” and I am:
You are in love with happiness and nature. You want every one to have a joyful and fulfilling life. You enjoy peace and serenity but are also exceptionally adventurous and overall jazzed about life!
Wishing I could enlighten myself into finding a boyfriend though…Clark Gregg maybe?
I want a little Sugar in My Bowl…
@thejohnjernigan, animals, atlanta, babies, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, cute, dating, depression, dogs, french bulldog, gay, LGBT, Life, loneliness, love, perspective, pets, point of view, puppies, relationships, sex, social work, social worker, St. Petersburg, tampa
I have felt sad and old and pessimistic about life all day. To cheer myself up, I am posting some pics of 2 of my favorite things, frenchies and babies. I also got to hold a precious little nugget on one of my cases this afternoon as well.
@thejohnjernigan, adoptions, buy John's book on Amazon, Clearwater, culture, dating, funny, gay, hero, humor, LGBT, MSW, perspective, point of view, queer, relationships, Ryan Gosling, sex, social services, social work, social worker, St. Petersburg, tampa
My friend Melissa gave me some social work shine on the facebook today 🙂
Melissa Ann – John Jernigan
Today Directions had an all case management meeting. Our supervisor gave John this award, the Champion Award. She explained that she gave him the award for a couple of reasons: For one thing, he keeps the office laughing and in a good mood telling jokes and making fun of people, but also because he has been working some tough cases, with difficult teenagers mostly, and he has kept his cool. He has also been driving one of his teens daily across the Howard Frankland to Tampa and back to Clearwater, so that the teen can remain in his same school. Congrats, you funny little fella !
@thejohnjernigan, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon, culture, dating, depression, gay, gay dating, LGBT, lifestyle, literature, loneliness, love, perspective, point of view, queer, relationships, sex, the Good Earth -Pearl S. Buck.
An all-time classic, one of my favorites, first read when I was maybe 10 years old. My love of money and desire to own things and be rich made it super interesting to me…sadly, I have no money, don’t own much and sure ain’t rich.
“To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death.”
“Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed and teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought.”
“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”
“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him… a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create — so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.”
“I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in the kindness of human beings. I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and angels.”
“Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up. ”
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Dan Buckley, president and publisher of Marvel Entertainment, is No. 1 on the ‘Bleeding Cool Magazine” Top 100 Power List.
Anne Rice, authors, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon, Christopher Rice, dating, gay, gay New York, gay pride, goodreads, Lambda, LGBT, lifestyle, Los Angeles, new orleans, queer, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, writers
Christopher is Anne’s darling gay son. He has become an accomplished author in the past decade. Light Before Day is my favorite of his books, but all six of his offerings are really good, high quality reads. By the age of 30, Christopher Rice had published four New York Times bestselling thrillers, received a Lambda Literary Award and been declared one of People Magazine’s Sexiest Men Alive. His first supernatural thriller, THE HEAVENS RISE, was nominated for a Bram Stoker Award. His first novel, A DENSITY OF SOULS, was published when he was just 22. The controversial bestseller was greeted with a landslide of media attention, much of it due the fact that Rice’s mother is a legendary vampire chronicler who shares his last name. He served as a contributing columnist to The Advocate for many years and his additional criticisms and witticisms have been featured in The Washington Post, Salon.com, The Daily Beast and his own Facebook page, which currently hails over 140,000 subscribers. The Hetrick Martin Institute honored Rice with an Emery Award for his activism on behalf of LGBT youth, and the New York City Public Advocate’s Office invited him to be their keynote speaker during their annual Gay Pride celebration.
“Adam Murphy, a twenty-five-year-old journalist, is chasing a career-making story of a serial killer preying on young gay men in West Hollywood when he is abruptly fired by the magazine that employs him. He soon learns his former lover has disappeared, but what he’s about to uncover is far more diabolical than he could ever have imagined. Light Before Day is a riveting and complex mystery set against the gothic landscape that Rice has made his own.”