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The Gay Road Less Traveled

The Gay Road Less Traveled

Tag Archives: fine dining

John’s Super Walmarks Diet

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit, My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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best gay blog, Chef, cuisine, culinary, diet, fine dining, foodie, funny, gay, health food, humor, john jernigan, recipes, Walmart

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What to do when you got budgetary constraints but you still want to be all healthy and green and whanot: follow John’s Walmark meal plan for sexual stamina and good teeth and skrong muscles, like Jameis ! #foodie #aintthispaleo?

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Turning Tables – Heather & Rose MacDowell

07 Wednesday Jan 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, My Favorite Things

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authors, book reviews, books, chefs, cooking, Curtis Stone, fiction, fine dining, gay, Gordon Ramsey, Michelin star, writers

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A great little story about a twenty-something who lost her job in marketing, and bullshitted her way into waiting tables at a Michelin-starred fine dining restaurant, without knowing the nomenclature.

1. Soup is considered a beverage and should be served and cleared from the right like other beverages.
2. A cocktail is never more full than when it’s dropped.
3. Never ask why (try not to even think it). Say “Of Course” or “I’ll attend to it immediately.”
4. The handle of a teacup is called the “ear” and should be placed at the 4 o’clock position to the right of the guest.
Do: Treat the busboys like a rich old aunt. If you’re nice to them you stand to make a lot more money.
Don’t: Check your tip in view of the dining room. Get mad later, in private.
Do: Channel your inner psych nurse and use a soothing voice with rude guests.
Don’t: Be honest if anyone asks how you like working at Roulette. You love what you do and plan to stay forever, right?
Never: Refold a guest’s napkin and put it back on the table. Replace the used napkin with a fresh one.
Always: Thank your lucky stars. You could be selling ladies shoes at JC Penney or trimming trees in Oklahoma in December.

“The fish special this evening is roasted monkfish with crispy shallots, mache emulsion, and an eggplant and Black Zebra tomato napoleon. The grill selection is a 10 ounce ribeye. It’s organic, free range, slaughtered humanely, and dry aged at high altitude. We will be serving it with a Jerusalem artichoke gratin and red pepper jus. Both specials are $42.”

Dr. Bernitz flips a few pages of the wine list before glancing up.
“How’s the fish tonight?”
“Flown in this morning, sir” Cato says crisply. “If you’re interested in seafood I suggest the wild salmon.”
“Why?”
“It has a firm texture and rich flavor that goes perfectly with chef’s caramelized ginger-shallot broth.” “Interesting, let’s hear about the lobster.”
This is the beginning of a 10 minute dance that is less a customer-waiter exchange than a subtle negotiation between adversaries.
“Where do the blood oranges in the relish come from?” asks the doctor, clearly enjoying the challenge.
Cato looks as if he might yawn. “Andalusia, Spain by way of 737.”
“You don’t happen to know who makes this china, do you?
“Chef had it designed exclusively for Roulette by Arte Italica. If you turn it over, you’ll see his signature. Of course I wouldn’t recommend doing that with a full plate” Cato laughed lightly.
“My mother would love a set, can you arrange that?”
“Just leave me her address and she should have it by Monday morning, unless she would prefer afternoon delivery. in
“Do any of the ingredients come from countries that use child labor?” the doctor says, gazing over the freesia at his wife. Martina needs to know before we order.”
“That’s why I memorize the menu” Cato tells me when we’re away from the table. “Not to make Gina happy, not to make money. To put assholes in their place.”

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A Jedi Foodie & whatnot

07 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Chef, cooking, fine dining, foodie, funny, gay, gay blog, gay Jedi, gay Miami, Gordon Ramsay, humor, Jedi

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I’m a Jedi foodie, my cultured and refined palate likes some Lime Cucumber Gatorade, Cinnamon Sugar Pringles and potted meat (it’s BOTH chicken and pork meats, ya heard). Banana Goliath, hot-off-the-grill arepas, pinkberry chocolate hazelnut with strawberry and mango boba, I am a culinary master. #gordonswife John-Jernigan Ramsay

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One Day in the Culinary Life, a Foodie’s Journey

05 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, culture, fine dining, foodie, funny, gay, health food, Honey Badger Don't Care, humor, McDonalds, recipes, vegan, vegetarian

7/3/14 10 a.m.
3 slices of almost questionably old Hungry Howie’s pizza, and a large coffee with about 1/4 cup of white sugar
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Healthy snacks that I nosh on throughout the day, most coming from the Bargain Basement, who sell big truckloads of stuff whose sell by date has expired: honey badger don’t care!
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Drinks, normally Sunny D is up in this mix, or Five Alive
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7/3/14 1 p.m. 2 buttercream and 2 chocolate cupcakes my supervisor brought in (no pic, refer to my belly fat for reference)

7/3/14 6 p.m.
20 Nuggets and fries from McDonald’s, with BBQ
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7/3/14 10 p.m.
S’Mores, with Snickers and Milky Way bites, and Chocolate Brownie, Toasted Coconut, and fruit flavored marshmallows
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7/4/14 10 a.m. Hot dogs broiled hard in the oven, on some hamburger buns with cheese and ketchup, Walmart curly fries with melted cheese and BBQ sauce
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Fried Chicken and Cheesecake

08 Sunday Jun 2014

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atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, cuisine, culture, fine dining, foodie, Fried Chicken, funny, gay, humor, Kombucha, Lesbian, LGBT, love, Publix, Sriracha, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

Fried Chicken and Cheesecake

Publix fried chx with Sriracha, then a red velvet cheesecake. And I know it’s all hipster trendy and whatnot, but I finally tried Kombucha, and it’s nasty, yuck 😦

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things

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Trailer Park Fine Dining

08 Sunday Jun 2014

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atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, Chef, country, dating, dogs, fine dining, foodie, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, LGBT, Michelin star, perspective, pets, point of view, relationships, southern culture, St. Petersburg, sweet home Alabama, Tampa Bay, trailer park royalty, Wal-Mart brand

Trailer Park Fine Dining

64 cent Wal-Mart Great Value Chef Boyardee and a big cup of coffee…I got such refined tastes and whatnot…a foodie, ya heard?

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Python Pizza

31 Friday Jan 2014

Tags

animals, Burmese python, buy John's book, cuisine, dating, dogs, Everglades, fine dining, foodie, Fort Myers, funny, gay, LGBT, pets, pizza, Python Pizza, Tampa Bay

Python Pizza

Python pizza is on the menu for Florida restaurant-goers, joining other delicacies like alligator and frog on what is known as the “Everglades Pizza.”

The strange pie is the specialty of Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza, located in the Florida Gulf Coast city of Fort Myers. The python pizza features meat from the Burmese python, which brave eaters have said is tasty but a bit chewy.

“It was just to create talk about the shop and being creative and this thing literally just went viral,” says Evan Daniell, the owner of Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza. “People talk about it all the time and whether it’s negative or positive, it really doesn’t matter because the fact is: we can make it and it’s delicious.”

A lot of work goes into making the python pizza palatable for customers. To take some of the gaminess out of the meat, Daniell said the chef marinates it for several hours, then slices them into what he calls “snake slivers.”

The pizza has become a Florida delicacy. Though the Burmese python is not native to Florida like the alligator and frog legs served on the menu, the snakes have become prevalent after being introduced.

“They get them as pets and when they get too big, they release them here,” said Roberto Torres, a field officer with The Nature Conservancy who estimated that there are tens of thousands of the giant snakes in Florida.

Daniell said the Everglades Pizza was originally invented for the restaurant’s Facebook page mainly as a way to get people talking, but he said it’s taken off in popularity.

“We’ve actually averaged one to two a month,” Evan told the News-Press.com back in 2012. “It’s a mix. Locals who are used to the idea of frog legs and gator, and tourists who want to try something completely different.”

The python pizza won’t come cheap, however. The menu list the “Everglades Pizza” at $45
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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things

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The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

C.L. Bolin Books & Art: When I get the chance, I love reading John Jernigan’s blog. I’m laughing, homesick, crying and peeing myself all at once.

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The Gay Road Less Traveled

A friend of mine who used to be one of the hard working under appreciated social workers for the State here in Pensacola has written a book now available on Kindle, John Jernigan’s “The Gay Road Less Traveled.” I purchased it tonight to start it, couldn’t out it down, it was so funny. Graphic, real, and hysterical, John’s writing is endearing, funny, smart and if you happen to be drinking coffee, it may shoot out of your nose at some point during one of his vignettes. You can read it on Kindle.

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