Feeling sad, lonely, bored, horny? Social distancing got you feeling down? For the funny, the drama, the hot sex scenes, and a glimpse into my altruistic charitable work with old white men throughout the USA, go buy my book on Amazon asap!
1. Collaborations : Elton John & Young Thug, A$AP Rocky & Moby, Nicki Minaj & Takashi 6ix9ine, Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper, Drake & EVERYBODY
2. That hook, yo: “Brand new whip got no keys
Tailor my clothes, no starch please
Soon as I nut, you can gon’ leave
Got M’s in the bank, like “Yes, indeed”
“Pussy got that wet, wet, got that drip, drip
Got that Super Soaker, hit that, she a Fefe
Her name Keke, she eat my dick like it’s free, free
I don’t even know like “Why I did that?”
“I still see your shadows in my room
Can’t take back the love that I gave you
It’s to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you”
NICE FOR WHAT – DRAKE feat BIG FREEDIA & 5th WARD WEEBIE With 12 hit singles, Scorpion was fire in 2018! Nice for What is the bright shining star of the album. It had strippers twerkin’ all around the world this summer. Shout-out to Nawlins royalty Big Freedia.
2. YES INDEED – DRAKE feat LIL BABY Drake is Drake on this track, a solid spit, but Lil Baby stole the show. His hook and delivery are so on point/different/lyrical, a Star is Born!
3. FREEBIRD II – PARQUET COURTS From hip-hop to what I will describe as classic 70’s Southern Rock in 2018, think Creedence Clearwater Revival or the Doobie Brothers
4. BOO’D UP – ELLA MAI The anthem for sisters everywhere this year, Ella singing excitedly about her significant other who she is head over heels in love with, that bitch #lonely #allmenaredogs
5. LUCID DREAMS – JUICE WRLD Lucid Dreams didn’t initially impress me, instead, it grew on me over time, a slow burn, turned out to be a uniquely different quality song.
6. AFRICA – WEEZER Everything old is new again…wish I was. Toto’s version is one of my favorite all-time songs, a fond memory from childhood, and while Weezer’s cover isn’t the original, it’s still good #1982
7. MY QUEEN IS HARRIET TUBMAN – SONS OF KEMET Takes me back to the beloved Big Easy, shades of Kermit Ruffins or “Skokiaan” by Louis Armstrong.
8. MAKE ME FEEL -JANELLE MONAE A tribute to Prince, and it has that cool vibe, very Erotic City-ish
9. CHUN-LI -NICKI MINAJ Although she hasn’t gone down without a fight, Nicki’s reign as the Queen of Hip-Hop is over. Chun-Li is catchy, crisp, and lyrical, a solid goodbye track for the end of an era.
10. SHALLOW – LADY GAGA & BRADLEY COOPER “I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now”
11. POWERGLIDE – RAE SRUMMOND Super catchy follow-up to Black Beatles, on my 2017 Favorites list
12. BAD AT LOVE – HALSEY “Got a boy back home in Michigan
And it tastes like Jack when I’m kissing him
So I told him that I never really liked his friends
Now he’s gone and he’s calling me a bitch again
There’s a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we make it ’til we graduate
So I told him the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate”
13. MO BAMBA – SHECK WES Shout out to Mo Bamba in Orlando, yo!
14. HIGH – YOUNG THUG feat ELTON JOHN When I think hip-hop, I think Elton John, ya heard?
15, 1950 – KING PRINCESS She sounds a lot like Lorde, and she’s a lesbian, which is cool #gaypride
16. MINE – BAZZI A cute/catchy little song by a tween heart-throb, if that’s your type…not mine #daddyissues
17. A$AP FOREVER – A$AP ROCKY feat Moby “Porcelain” is one of my all-time favorite songs, and I love how it’s sampled here, but truthfully, this song is good but would have been fire if A$AP’s verses were better
18. ANNA WINTOUR – AZEALIA BANKS 212 was such a delightfully fun dance track, and while I think Ms, Banks uses the same beat for Anna Wintour, not quite as magical, but still pretty good…with her crazy-ass, everybody hates you Azealia!
19. FLEA MARKET – TIERRA WHACK With Nicki Minaj on the way out, Cardi B overplayed and under-talented, and Remy Ma seemingly without quality tracks (she is a true rapper/can spit fire), maybe the super-talented Tierra Whack can seize the crown?
20. WOMP WOMP – VALEE feat JEREMIH “Womp, womp, she give me what I wanna
Ball so hard, need a warm up, I bagged her at the Walmart (yeah)
Big timer, stunna, I’m out here on the come up
I beat the pussy, drummer, I roll up, no more drama (yeah)”
21. MIKA DORA – AMEN DUNES Introducing Amen Dunes, a talented singer comparable to John Mayer (but not a douchebag like John)
22. SICKO MODE – TRAVIS SCOTT feat DRAKE “Had me out like a light”
I finished this fantastic book last night, and like great books often do, I was wound-up tight and then in tears as the final scene unfolded. So good, different, unique! The Bird Box movie is coming out in late 2018, with Sarah Paulsen, John Malkovich, and Machine Gun Kelly, starring Sandra Bullock as Malorie, but read the book first! Josh Malerman’s descriptive writing style shakes the reader’s visual imagination by introducing us to a dangerous and challenging new world.
“How can she expect her children to dream as big as the stars if they can’t lift their heads to gaze upon them?”
“You can smell it, too. Death. Dying. Decay. The sky is falling, the sky is dying, the sky is dead.”
“Robin was a great kid. Smarter than her father at eight years old. She liked the oddest things. Like the instructions for a toy more than the toy itself. The credits of a movie instead of the movie. The way something was written. An expression on my face. Once she told me I looked like the sun to her, because of my hair. I asked her if I shined like the sun, and she told me, ‘No, Daddy, you shine more like the moon, when it’s dark outside.”
“You are saving their lives for a life not living.”
“It’s better to face madness with a plan than to sit still and let it take you in pieces.”
EVERYTHING NOW – ARCADE FIRE (Scroll to 46 seconds on this video to start of song) My fav song of the year, a mashup that sounds like the Hustle from the 70’s, gayest Erasure, OMD, add a dash of hipster irony…You’ve Got Everything Now!!!
2. RUNNIN’ -NAUGHTY BOY featuring BEYONCE A super catchy and addictive little song that I played over and over again this year. It first caught my ear in a Chanel commercial with Kirsten Stewart (Runnin’)
3. WALK ON WATER – EMINEM featuring BEYONCE Although she’s featured in two of my three favorite songs of the year, I’m not a big Beyonce fan, her vocal talent is unquestioned, she’s just not very smart and lacks personality.
4. BAD & BOUJEE – MIGOS featuring LIL UZI VERT Ahh, Migos, you were the bright shining stars of 2017, although nobody could understand what you were saying! I fear that like a falling star, Migos’ hotness will soon cool, and they will fade away
5. FEEL IT STILL – PORTUGAL THE MAN
6. BODAK YELLOW – CARDI B Since being introduced to Cardi on Love & Hip Hop NY , I have loved Cardi’s ratchetness and ghetto fabulous sense of humor (when she started making money she wanted to get her teeth fixed, but she was scared, because she was worried she wouldn’t be able to suck dick as good)
7. HOW FAR I’LL GO/MOANA – ALESSIA CARA A lovely little song for little girls and gay men everywhere
8. BLACK BEATLES – RAE SRUMMOND
9. DOWN – MARIAN HILL
10. BAD AT LOVE – HALSEY I knew Halsey before she blew up and kinda sold out, she is a unique and talented singer who I predict will have a long and successful career (unlike Migos or Cardi B). Check out her guest appearance on Roadies, when Machine Gun Kelly kind of falls in love with her
11. MASK OFF – FUTURE “Percocets, Molly, Percocets” “Chase a Bitch, Never Chase a Bitch”
12. SIGN OF THE TIMES -HARRY STYLES
13. THUNDER -IMAGINE DRAGONS
14. HAVANA -CAMILLA CABELLO featuring YOUNG THUG Like Beyonce did with Destiny’s Child, Camilla done told the rest of Fifth Harmony Good Day!
15. CASTLE ON THE HILL – ED SHEERAN
16. LEMON – NERD featuring RIHANNA
17. MAGNOLIA – PLAYBOY CARTI
18. (NO ONE KNOWS) LIKE THE PIANO – SAMPHA
19. NO LIMIT – G-EAZY featuring ASAP ROCKY & CARDI B
20. COLD LITTLE HEART – MICHAEL KIWANUKA Theme song of Big Little Lies, a great show on HBO
21. NEW YORK – ST VINCENT
22. THIRD OF MAY/ODAIGAHARA – FLEET FOXES
23. PA’LANTE – HURRAY FOR THE RIFFRAFF
24. I GET THE BAG -GUCCI MANE featuring MIGOS
25. ROCKSTAR – POST MALONE featuring 21 SAVAGE
TESTIFY – HIFI SEAN featuring CRYSTAL WATERS My most loved dance track this year, Crystal Waters has performed at least six or seven times at circuit party events I’ve attended over the years, and I have floated high as a kite countless times on the dance floor to this diva of the gay community’s songs!
“Now take me to your river
And lay me in your water
And preach to me
Tell me why I need your love
Why I got to have your love
Justify your love”
My class curriculum includes considerable time spent on trauma-informed care and helping my prospective adoptive families succeed in parenting children who have suffered abuse or neglect. I use the example of a Bear in the Woods (at the 8-minute mark in this Ted Talk video on Childhood Trauma by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris).
Significant damage to the emotional and physical health of children who are exposed to high levels of adversity/trauma occurs over time (chronic trauma). They are more likely to engage in high-risk behavior, and to develop heart disease or cancer. Our brains have a stress response system, in the hypothalamic and adrenal glands, that governs our fight or flight response in a situation. Imagine you’re walking in the forest and you see a bear. Immediately, your brain sends a response to your adrenal glands: Release stress hormones! Adrenal! Cortisol! Your heart starts to pound, your pupils dilate, your airways open up, and you are ready to either fight that bear or run from that bear! And that is wonderful, if you are in the forest, with a bear. The problem is what happens when the bear comes home every night, in the form of domestic violence, or physical abuse, or molestation. This system is activated over and over and over again, and it goes from being life-saving to health damaging. Children are especially sensitive to this repeated stress-activation, because their brains and bodies are just developing. High doses of adversity affect their brain structure and function, their developing immune systems and hormonal systems.
$5 for a Bag of Books at the Worcester Habitat for Humanity yo, inching Less Than Zero, Doctors and a childhood favorite Island of the Blue Dolphins. 8 years old I was Marana on that island, struggling to find food and trying to avoid being killed by the wild dogs (while doing everything I could to steal one of their puppies).
An enlightening story from a man who grew up in the foster care system and aged out without being adopted. Take the five minutes to listen to his story, and you’ll be glad you did. If you don’t have the time to watch the whole video, scroll to the 5:28 mark and watch until the end. #adoptuskids
I’ve signed a 6-month lease on 10th St. in the heart of South Beach, 2 blocks from Lincoln and Collins and 3 blocks from the beach. The apartment is tiny (350 square feet) and the rent is half of my monthly slave wages, but it comes with a big built-in bookshelf and a pink bathtub (where I do most of my reading). I am excited! I have always wanted to be in the center of the action, and apart from New York, that’s Miami. Job:check. Apartment: check. Next up: Boyfriend.
The Swap Shop Flea Market on Sunrise. I have come to realize that the success you have at this flea market depends mostly on your energy level, having the willingness to dig in and pick through piles of mainly junk, and then having the negotiation skills to barter with those sharks (Haitian and Jamaican women). *btw, old Haitian women do not like to have their pictures taken, at all
I don’t exactly know what these people were selling or doing, but it was real busy and they were whispering and it looked shady, so I went over there and took their picture, and I said Aha, I got you!
My lone purchase, a $2 Powerpuff girl for Squeak, well this and a cold Coco Frio (sadly still tasted like nasty salty coconut water)
I’m the taxi cab driver for what I will call a precocious 4 year old. In addition to taking ALL the selfies of himself with my phone, devouring a Happy Meal, ice cream sundae and orange juice, he tried to run away from me out into the parking lot. Unfortunately he seems to have gone to the bathroom at some point today and not wiped himself properly. He definitely is a little stinky, but he will stay that way, I’m not changing him or nothing… ain’t nobody got time for that!
I have my highs, and I have my lows. This week I have been exceptionally lonely and prone to cry. My friend and co-worker Mike is in a training class, so I was volunteered to take one of his children for a psychiatric evaluation and psychotropic medication consult. Jenny (not her real name) is almost 4 years old, a chunky little nugget with pigtails and that raspy voice that some little kids have. When I pick her up at the daycare at the crack of dawn I am informed she hasn’t had breakfast, but we are running late so there is no time to stop. We get to the doctor’s office and wait, and wait, and wait. Jenny never gets cross, or pouts, or whines. I get in the floor and we play house, then she cooks me some food in the kitchen, then we color, then we are farmers with all of her animals, then she plays games on my phone until it dies. She knows we are going to McDonald’s and asks when we can leave every 5 minutes. At 11:45 I finally complain, and then I’m asked to bring Jenny back “around 1:30” because the doctor has a mandatory staffing and she can’t be seen until then.
We go to McDonald’s, where Jenny gets a Happy Meal, quickly making her cheeseburger, fries, apples and Sprite disappear. My little nugget has a few of my chicken nuggets as well. Not-her-case-manager buys us ice cream cones AND chocolate chip cookies, with me praising her for being such a good girl. When we return to the doctor’s office Jenny draws a picture of us, and then I show her a picture of my dogs and she draws them as well. She is still happy, laughing, playing…such a good girl! The doctor finally sees us at 3 p.m., and Jenny has her meltdown shortly after. She yells and cries and runs in and out of people’s offices. I explain to the doctor that she hadn’t had her nap and that she was tired and cranky. I have a bag of toys in my trunk and am forced to promise to give her three of them if she will stop running away from me, stop yelling and get in the car. Once she is seat-belted in and digging through the toys (choosing Stitch, the Cookie Monster and a meerkat) she is fine and happy again. As we near her foster home, she asks me if I am staying for dinner. I say No, I have to go home to my puppies. She asks if I will come in and play with her for “just a few minutes” because now we are best friends. My heart, which she already had, melts. Of course I do go inside and play Barbies with her for about 15 minutes, garnering a quizzical look from the 60-year old foster mother. I don’t care, I just smile and play with her dolls, because she has made me happy today, with her continued good mood and positive energy. I might be crying a little as I write this, but they are happy tears, given to me by a precious little one, a chunky little angel 🙂
“Such a perfect day, you made me forget myself…I thought I was someone else, someone good”
I am flawed, hopefully not fatally so. I am no longer young, and that makes me not as attractive, to most. I don’t make very much money, and haven’t lived up to my potential. But I’m empathetic, and kind, and dogs and children unfailingly like me. I still have the capacity to love. I have to believe that someone is out there for me, someone who will love the less-than-perfect me, someone who will see that I’m the same boy I used to be.
She Photographed Herself Everyday For A Year. This just looked like another one of those videos where someone takes a picture of themselves every day of the year, but by the end you realize it was something much different.
This photo of a Virginia mom hugging her 3-year-old son on a Florida beach has gone viral. The boy was battling cancer and had just finished a round of chemotherapy treatments. The tender moment is now touching hearts across the world.
When his girlfriend had to put down her beloved 10-year-old beagle, this thoughtful guy knew just what to do to help cure her broken heart. It’s a rainy Thursday night in St. Pete, and I am feeling kind of sad and lonely. I had a good cry watching this video.
When I was a case manager in Pensacola, I had a big office all to myself. I would collect small toys at different thrift stores and flea markets, and kept them in said office for the children on my caseload. 2 years later, I still have bags full of toys. I had a home visit scheduled this evening, to see a three-year old on one of my cases. I brought my bag of toys for him, and the other foster kids in the home, and the foster mother’s grandbaby, with the plan that each toddler could have 2-3 toys. At my arrival, the “gang” and I do mean gang included my three-year old *Bubba, siblings *Peanut and *Bean three and 1 1/2 years old, and the foster mother’s granddaughter *Atari, 4 years old. All were observed to have snotty noses.
The five of us got down on the living room floor and I dumped the bag of toys out. They all started grabbing and pushing. Bean sat down right in the middle of the pile. I tried to help Atari pick out the few girls toys, but Peanut snatched up a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake, causing Atari to start screaming and trying to kick Peanut, who smartly remained just out of reach. His little brother Bean wasn’t as lucky. He was intently slobbering and putting toys in his mouth when Atari hit him over the head with a Triceratops, hard, and he started screaming and crying. I tried to explain to Peanut that he didn’t want girls toys, but his foster mother (who is ancient, older than her own mother, and whose voicemail jumps right into quoting scripture without so much as a hello) shrugged and said “Peanut be likin’ girl stuff, that’s how he do.”
Bubba was stockpiling toys behind him, and Peanut and Atari started grabbing again. Peanut put poor Boots up his nose. Atari was trying to be sneaky and was hiding toys underneath her, looking off into space so she wouldn’t have to make eye contact with me. Bubba and Peanut started grabbing up toys and running them to their bedroom, in the back of the house. Old Mother Hubbard didn’t say shit. Atari refused to stand up, because she was sitting on several toys, including Stitch, Eor and Oscar the Grouch. She never stood up until I left, furtively watching me with her little thievin’ eyes. As soon as I had three or four toys in front of one of them and thought I was good, the others had grabbed up more, except baby Bean, who needed changing, BADLY 😦
All three of the older gremlins got 5-6 toys each at least, and when I started putting the remaining toys back in the bag, all four of them started screaming again, yelling No! Stop! Mine! Peanut even started crying. As I made my exit Bubba and Peanut were wrestling and screaming over a giraffe, Atari was nesting on her stolen loot, and Bean was gnawing Miss Piggy’s face off.