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The Gay Road Less Traveled

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Johnny’s Favorite Songs of 2017

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by johnjernigan in introducing, Music is the Answer, the Flaming Homosexual

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Tags

2017, art, Beyonce, boston, dance music, ed sheeran, eminem, gay, halsey, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, migos, music, New Years, News, opinion, pop music, rap music, reviews, the gay road less traveled

  1. EVERYTHING NOW – ARCADE FIRE (Scroll to 46 seconds on this video to start of song) My fav song of the year, a mashup that sounds like the Hustle from the 70’s, gayest Erasure, OMD, add a dash of hipster irony…You’ve Got Everything Now!!!

2. RUNNIN’ -NAUGHTY BOY featuring BEYONCE A super catchy and addictive little song that I played over and over again this year. It first caught my ear in a Chanel commercial with Kirsten Stewart (Runnin’)

3. WALK ON WATER – EMINEM featuring BEYONCE Although she’s featured in two of my three favorite songs of the year, I’m not a big Beyonce fan, her vocal talent is unquestioned, she’s just not very smart and lacks personality.

4. BAD & BOUJEE – MIGOS featuring LIL UZI VERT Ahh, Migos, you were the bright shining stars of 2017, although nobody could understand what you were saying! I fear that like a falling star, Migos’ hotness will soon cool, and they will fade away

5. FEEL IT STILL – PORTUGAL THE MAN

6. BODAK YELLOW – CARDI B Since being introduced to Cardi on Love & Hip Hop NY , I have loved Cardi’s ratchetness and ghetto fabulous sense of humor (when she started making money she wanted to get her teeth fixed, but she was scared, because she was worried she wouldn’t be able to suck dick as good)

7. HOW FAR I’LL GO/MOANA – ALESSIA CARA A lovely little song for little girls and gay men everywhere

8. BLACK BEATLES – RAE SRUMMOND

9. DOWN – MARIAN HILL

 

10. BAD AT LOVE – HALSEY I knew Halsey before she blew up and kinda sold out, she is a unique and talented singer who I predict will have a long and successful career (unlike Migos or Cardi B). Check out her guest appearance on Roadies, when Machine Gun Kelly kind of falls in love with her

11. MASK OFF – FUTURE “Percocets, Molly, Percocets” “Chase a Bitch, Never Chase a Bitch”

12. SIGN OF THE TIMES -HARRY STYLES

13. THUNDER -IMAGINE DRAGONS

14. HAVANA -CAMILLA CABELLO featuring YOUNG THUG Like Beyonce did with Destiny’s Child, Camilla done told the rest of Fifth Harmony Good Day!

15. CASTLE ON THE HILL – ED SHEERAN

16. LEMON – NERD featuring RIHANNA

17. MAGNOLIA – PLAYBOY CARTI

18. (NO ONE KNOWS) LIKE THE PIANO – SAMPHA

19. NO LIMIT – G-EAZY featuring ASAP ROCKY & CARDI B

20. COLD LITTLE HEART – MICHAEL KIWANUKA Theme song of Big Little Lies, a great show on HBO

21. NEW YORK – ST VINCENT

22. THIRD OF MAY/ODAIGAHARA – FLEET FOXES

23. PA’LANTE – HURRAY FOR THE RIFFRAFF

24. I GET THE BAG -GUCCI MANE featuring MIGOS

25. ROCKSTAR – POST MALONE featuring 21 SAVAGE

TESTIFY – HIFI SEAN featuring CRYSTAL WATERS My most loved dance track this year, Crystal Waters has performed at least six or seven times at circuit party events I’ve attended over the years, and I have floated high as a kite countless times on the dance floor to this diva of the gay community’s songs!

“Now take me to your river
And lay me in your water
And preach to me
Tell me why I need your love
Why I got to have your love
Justify your love”

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A Teenager asks somebody, anybody to adopt him

16 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart

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Tags

adoption, Birmingham, child protection, culture, gay, inspirational, john jernigan, LGBT, new orleans, opinion, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay

adoption-266x350http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2013/oct/15/orphan-goes-church-and-asks-someone-anyone-adopt-h/

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Party Down Pensacola

18 Tuesday Jun 2013

Tags

arrest, criminal, culture, Escambia County, funny, gay, humor, Jail View, john jernigan, LGBT, opinion, Pensacola, St. Petersburg, Sunshine State Law, Tampa Bay

Party Down Pensacola

I was a social worker in child protection for several years in Escambia County, and I still peruse Jail View now and again. Rock on, Mr. Cornelius!

DIXON, TONJAS CORNELIUS (B / MALE)
Status: In Jail
Booking No: ECSO13JBN008478
Booking Date: 06/11/2013 18:33:54
Age On Booking Date: 20
Bond Amount: $515000.00
CELL Assigned:
Facility: ECSO , Dorm: R3 , Pod: R3 , Cell No: RED Visitation Schedule
Address Given: 1230 RIO GRANDE CIR PENSACOLA FL 32505
CHARGES
STATUTE CASENO CHARGE DEGREE LEVEL BOND
810.02.4b 13-2938 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2940 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2942 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2762 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2936 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2936 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2934 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2934 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2933 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2929 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.61 13-2929 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.61 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.481.1 13-2769 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS S M $2500.00
Court Information
817.60.8 13-2769 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $25000.00
Court Information
817.481.1 13-2768 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS S M $2500.00
Court Information
817.60.8 13-2768 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $15000.00
Court Information
806.13.1b3 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) DAMAGE PROP-CRIM MISCH T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4a 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2760 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2761 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-2764 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $15000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2764 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $15000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2763 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $15000.00
Court Information
812.014.3b 13-2763 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $15000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2767 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-2767 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $20000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $20000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $20000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2765 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2765 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2925 (ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE) BURGL T F $10000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2925 (ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE) VEH THEFT T F $10000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005230 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005232 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2a1 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F F $1000.00
Court Information
817.60.1 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
Court Information
817.61 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005236 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13.005237 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005238 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-005238 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
Court Information
810.02.3a 13-005240 (PPD) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005240 (PPD) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-005240 (PPD) LARC T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005242 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005243 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005255 (PPD) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $1000.00
Court Information

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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My Korean Deli – Ben Ryder Howe

02 Tuesday Apr 2013

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out

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Tags

authors, Ben Ryder Howe, book reviews, books, Brooklyn, culture, different, fiction, Gowanus canal, humor, inspirational, john jernigan, Korean, My Korean Deli, New York, non-fiction, opinion, Paris Review, perspective, point of view

MyKoreanDeli
I loved the nomenclature of this book, and getting to use the word nomenclature…the author(a senior editor for the Paris Review) and his wife (lawyer) buy a Brooklyn bodega for his hardcore, traditional, no-nonsense Korean mother-in-law. He ends up working there 4-5 nights a week, blocks from the projects and the polluted Gowanus canal.

“Howe and his relatives do spend an awful lot of time failing. The store makes less money than expected even as it is hit with massive tax bills; vendors and deliverymen screw over the new owners, leaving cartons of unwanted products on the floor of the store and then invoicing later. The city also tries to confiscate the deli’s refrigerators and nails Howe for selling tobacco to a minor. Howe’s evocation of the financial knife-edge on which he finds himself is so convincing that even if you step away from the book and go out into the world, you’ll still thrum with low-level panic.”

mykoreandeli110307_560

ny_main--415x415

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Video

Lena Dunham

19 Saturday Jan 2013

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

culture, dating, different, favorites, fort lauderdale, gay, Girls, HBO, inspirational, john jernigan, Lena Dunham, LGBT, opinion, point of view, sex

“The Feminist Post-Modernist Voice of her Generation”
Just won Golden Globes for Best Actress and Best Comedy or Musical series for Girls on HBO, which she both writes and directs…I love her and her show

alena

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The Object of My Affection

17 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Mr. Right

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Tags

fort lauderdale, gay, humor, opinion, sex

There is a guy out there that I am completely crazy about. A few weeks ago I found myself right next to him at somewhere, my ears turned bright red, I stuttered a goodbye and made a hasty exit. I am most certain that my loneliness and the lack of any affection for me by anyone (human) are causing this crush, oh well. This guy is near but far, unattainable, belonging to someone else. Even if he were single, I look and feel so ugly and sad that he likely wouldn’t want me anyway. I’ve talked to him a time or two, and he has an inkling of  how utterly cute and kissable I think he is. I did in fact attempt to kiss him once, which he refused by ducking away from me and then leaving. That embarrassment was attempted back when I still had a little self-confidence and felt I was someone special enough to obtain a kiss if I wanted one, from this guy or anyone. What’s funny is that NO ONE knows anything about him from me, I haven’t really made any friends here and so sadly have no one to confide in. Recently I saw this guy, just for a moment, walking with his friends. I allowed myself to think how great it would be to have this guy’s affection, to have someone, to be happy and in love, but it’s not to be. I want this guy to know that in the middle of this horrible depression I’m in, picturing  his little face, how cute he is, the overall idea of him…they have been small, good things that I hold onto when things get really dark. If I could continue to carry my torch and admire him from afar I would be grateful. In this guy I see  who I would want as my partner, if only I weren’t so ugly and broken.

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Blowjob Etiquette

10 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Mr. Right

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

dating, favorites, fort lauderdale, gay, humor, opinion, perspective, sex, short story, south Florida, tim gunn, wilton manors

It’s Tuesday around 4:30 p.m. and stupid me has gotten trapped in the rush-hour snarl of traffic that is N Federal/Sunrise/Broward to 95. I am singing along with the radio, Take That’s “Back for Good” which is embarrassing enough to admit, when I feel someone’s eyes on me. I immediately stop singing. A man is staring back and down at me from a generic SUV of some kind. He is cute…well cute to me. Admittedly my taste in men is most particular and unique and discerning : Michael Emerson, Chris Parnell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson…Atticus Finch…Father Mulcahy…Tim Gunn…Jack Coleman…Donald Rumsfield…? see, my list could go wrong, wrong at any time!!

This guy looks like a 40-something Jim Boeheim, which is good (to me). He is cruising me so hard, flat-out staring. I stare back and smile, give him a little wave. We inch along in traffic. Throw me something mister. Jim points at me, makes a circle with his left hand, opens his mouth and bobs his head up and down. WTF?! I am a little stunned. I mean things are understood, implied, negotiated…but this guy, I’m embarrassed for him, and for me. What should I do? I mean, he’s nerdy cute, waspy, glasses…but he has the nerve to offer me a blowjob, without a word spoken, just sitting in traffic, so…

In an effort to be the bigger person and maybe get a blowjob, I’m gonna carpe diem! this moment. I roll down my passenger side window and Jim does likewise.

Me: “How you doing?”

Jim: Nods his head

Me: “You maybe want to get a cup of coffee or something at the Starbucks up on Federal & Broward?”

Jim: Shakes his head, No, and holds up his left hand, showing me his wedding ring. Then he rolls his window up and starts intently watching traffic, good day

So Jim was more than willing to perform that most special act that us gay mens is famous for, any ole place I assume, at Winn-Dixie or his backseat or in a 7-Eleven bathroom…but can’t risk anyone seeing his ignorant ass sitting with me at Starbucks?

That’s okay, I mean Jim obviously found me attractive and alluring as he saw me singing all talented and whatnot…due to my masculinity and manliness and intimidating look, he probably got scared thinking I was all straight and maybe he was in danger of getting gay-bashed or something…I am almost certain no one can tell I am a member of the gay community just by observing me (singing)…right?

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

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Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood

08 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out

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Tags

apocalypse, authors, book reviews, books, cloning, fantasy, favorites, fiction, inspirational, maddaddam, opinion, perspective, science fiction

Oryx and Crake was really popular with the emo kids when emo was the thing….

goodreads.com:

Oryx and Crake is at once an unforgettable love story and a compelling vision of the future. Snowman, known as Jimmy before mankind was overwhelmed by a plague, is struggling to survive in a world where he may be the last human, and mourning the loss of his best friend, Crake, and the beautiful and elusive Oryx whom they both loved. In search of answers, Snowman embarks on a journey–with the help of the green-eyed Children of Crake–through the lush wilderness that was so recently a great city, until powerful corporations took mankind on an uncontrolled genetic engineering ride. Margaret Atwood projects us into a near future that is both all too familiar and beyond our imagining.

Pigoons & Rakunks & Snats….dark & creepy & fatalistic…but one of my all-time favorites none the less…

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Jean-Michel Basquiat

03 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart

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art, different, favorites, inspirational, opinion, perspective, point of view, pop culture, sex

Basquiat was an American artist. He began as an obscure graffiti artist in New York City and evolved into an acclaimed Neo-Expressionist and Primitivist painter. His mental health issues (almost certainly schizophrenic)  allowed him to see the world from a vividly different point of view.. My favorite modern artist.

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Before Night Falls – 2001

03 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Movies

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authors, books, different, favorites, gay, inspirational, movies, opinion, perspective, point of view, pop culture, sex

The life of Cuban poet and novelist, Reinaldo Arenas (1943-1990), from his childhood in Oriente province to his death in New York City.

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Cruising the Publix…not really

24 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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dating, fort lauderdale, gay, humor, opinion, perspective, point of view, sex, short story, south Florida, wilton manors

I like to play ball at these courts next to the Oakland Park library, so I stopped at the Publix in the homosexual community of Wilton Manors to change out of my work clothes, as Publix bathrooms are unfailingly, invariably clean. So I go to the deli to get a piece of chx and I spy a cute guy, just doing some grocery shopping.  He is meeting all my criteria(s) short,waspy, preppie…very Brian d’Arcy James-ish. I commence to cruising him. I do this by walking past him and subtly staring, then looking back all sexy once his attention is grabbed. He’s interested, of course. He moves over to the next aisle. I discreetly follow him. We smile at each other again. I’m amping up to use my words and see what’s up for real. He heads toward the registers. I get a little concerned. He takes his phone out and calls someone. He is talking in a TOO LOUD voice that I realize is meant for me to hear. He says “Hey this guy is cruising me in the grocery store. I’m not hooking up though. He would be cute except he’s got a mohawk and those big hole earrings. It’s too much.” WTF?

like my idol sweet brown, I ran up outta there! I wasn’t cruising him anyway, just trying to be polite…

I do note that he had said “It’s too much” with considerable inflection and flair…in a decidely un-masculine way

a ls4

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FREE for being gay

09 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Tags

culture, dating, fort lauderdale, gay, humor, opinion, perspective, point of view, sex, short story, south Florida, wilton manors

This whole gay thing hasn’t really gotten me much so far. For example, I can’t get alimony or a settlement check or half of my/our? old house because my ex never married me, get it? But since I’ve been in Fort Lauderdale, I have been given some cool shit TWICE now.

The first thing that happened to me occured at my much beloved IKEA. I had saved my money and was investing in some of their furniture. While doing my shopping and picking and choosing I noticed I was being cruised, hard, by this little IKEA employee. I proceeded to completely ignore him. He was actually the opposite type guy I like, around 19 years old, bleached blonde hair, skinny skinny and flaming!!! What’s going on, queen? So I drag down all my boxes and put them on my pallet and start pushing toward the checkout. I had been in the store for like 3 hours so I stopped to use the bathroom. As I’m standing at the urinal you guessed it, here comes my friend, let’s call him “Reggie.”  He stands next to me, tries to make eye contact and says “Hey” well more like “Heey!” I nod back and dribble on my shorts a little as I rush up outta there.

So then I push my pallet of boxes toward the registers and get in this long ignorant line. Here comes Reggie, making a beeline right for me. “I can get you right here at my register” he tells me. Ok cool, screw it, gay pride, family, check me out please. So the furniture I picked out was nine boxes total, a queen-sized bed, a big book-shelf and a desk. I was going to pay the $99 to have it delivered to my house. So Reggie is using his little scanner to ring me up. Beep, beep, then “$210.77 please”. I immediately know something’s off, the bed is $299 by itself. Reggie looks at me, smiles and gives me a big gay wink. I swipe my card, get my receipt, peace out. I start pushing my pallet quickly toward the exit, hurry hurry rush rush. Then I realize I have a big problem. I had planned to have everything delivered to my house, so I need to check it in with the delivery department and give them my address and whatnot…and give them the receipt. Shit. I can’t, I’ve got way more furniture than what I paid for. I leave my pallet by the door and run to my car and pull it up to the self-loading docks. WTF? Some of these boxes are heavy as hell. My car is small. I roll the back windows down and open the trunk and try for like an hour to get the boxes in. I smash my fingers badly. What to do, what to do…This man who I think worked there and was waiting on a ride after his shift was watching me the whole time, smiling, I know I looked crazy. So this man looked very competent and handy, so I made a plea for help. I told him that I would give him $40 if he could fit all the boxes of furniture in my car. I went back in to the ATM, got the money and when I came back it was all good, my new friend was tying the last boxes down and wedging them into the trunk. $40 and his effusive thank you later, peace out. Thank you Reggie, for cruising me and liking me and hooking a brother up. You have my gratitude, nothing else though….

So my second lovely gift from a young gay admirer was given at the Pompano Wal-Mart. I was doing some serious shoppin’ on payday Friday, I had a full buggy, including three 4-packs of sugar-free Monsters $18, my $15 Mach3 razors, a $49 hand-held vacuum cleaner and a $29 little charcoal grill, in addition to all my other groceries. I was also investing in these fat-blocker pills/whatever called Alli, which were $49. So I push my full buggy up to the front and get in line. My cashier is again very young, black, flaming…and this time I know his name (from his name-tag). I’m not going to tell it though, wouldn’t want to get him in trouble. I’ll call him Shawn…wait, KaShawn. So apparently people can just look at me these days and tell I’m gay. I was wearing a pink Polo, maybe that was it. KaShawn let me, and the family behind me, know with the quickness that he thought my gauges were cute!!! Actually I think he said crute….

So the Pompano Walmart or Walmark as it is sometimes called is a mixed bag, it’s a Supercenter but somewhat ghetto as well. KaShawn rings up some of my food items. My razor blades are in a big-ass clear anti-theft plastic box, KaShawn has to take it to the service desk or somewhere to have it opened. As he leaves the register to go get them he says to the girl working the next register, loudly ” This white boy right here is fine. I want me a piece of that ass.” I look at the mother and two kids in line behind me. She stares back all accusatory and shit like I’m getting ready to suck a dick right there or something. So KaShawn comes back with my razors and puts them in a bag. He pulls the Alli bottle across the scanner but doesn’t scan it, quickly putting it in the same bag. All of my grocery items/food are rung up, but KaShawn has failed to scan any of my bigger items, my energy drinks, vacuum cleaner, grill & charcoal…plus my Alli and razors are now in my buggy, bagged and good to go, un-rung up. “Ok baby, $98.36, cash or card.” I quickly say card! and swipe my debit asap. KaShawn advises me to “Keep lookin’ fine” as he hands me my receipt and I say I thank you. Peace out, I am pushing my buggy toward the door, IKEA deja vu, please I am too small to go to prison…and I’s free! Walmart doesn’t employ a receipt checker anymore, following several lawsuits with accusations of profiling and racism I am told. I am in the parking lot, that means I’m safe, security cannot tackle me or detain me or nothin’!! I add up my gifts from my admirer KaShawn…he gave me like $175 of shit…:)

Reggie and KaShawn, thank you for finding me attractive, but more importantly thanks for the free swag….Gay pride, family, man….beautiful. Was there even a remote possibility that I was gonna swing back through and give you my phone number or hookup or something like that? Hell no. I like short, nerdy middle-aged white men, who don’t work retail….and who don’t steal from their employers!!! Thanks for the hookups though, good lookin’ out ya heard

Merry Christmas Reggie and Happy Kwanzaa KaShawnImageImage

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Inferred, Implied

26 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by johnjernigan in Mr. Right

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

culture, dating, fort lauderdale, gay, HIV, humor, opinion, point of view, sex, south Florida, wilton manors

There are soo, soo many hookup sites out there
Below is a typical profile of a gay man that I cut & pasted from one of the cruise sites-
Notice where it says HIV status: Ask Me…well nobody has to, it’s inferred that the guy is Positive
Profiles that don’t mention HIV status or say shit like Anything Goes are all HIV+ 
Neighborhood BROWARD COUNTY

Age: 51
Position:Bottom/Versatile
Height: 6’0
Build: Swimmers
Ethnicity: White
Hair: Shaved
Eyes: Blue
Cock: Ask Me
Availability: Right Now
Place: My Place
HIV Status: Ask Me
 “Based on studies of metro areas with large gay populations, Broward County, in which Ft. Lauderdale is located, has been repeatedly identified as having the highest per capita rate of HIV in the US, with an estimated 30% of gay men identified as HIV positive. If you visit here, be extra sure to wrap up. There are bowls of free condoms in many locations where gay people go.”
I moved to Fort Lauderdale at least partially because of the large gay population, but now that I’m here I’m surprisingly tentative and afraid to jump in and start dating. I am glad and grateful to be HIV negative & healthy, and plan to stay this way obviously. I complained about Pensacola not having any dating prospects or potential….in Fort Lauderdale there seems to be ample quantity of men, quality maybe not so much…and it is somewhat potentially hazardous to my health to date here as well. I am still a little broken-hearted and damaged from the ending to my 12-year relationship with the man who I thought was the love of my life…..you think? My mother’s reclusive tendencies are kinda calling out to me…

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