08 Wednesday Nov 2017
Posted in Dogs is People Too, My Favorite Things, My Heart
Tags
boston, boston terrier, Cricket the French Bulldog, dogs, french bulldog, gay, LGBT, Pensacola, pets, queer, Squeak the Boston Terrier
When Cricket was a baby, she chewed through my house while teething. Check out the coffee table in the pics below…
22 Saturday Nov 2014
Posted in My Favorite Things, My Heart
Tags
animals, boston terrier, dogs, french bulldog, frenchton, gay, gay fort lauderdale, gay Miami, lifestyle, love, new orleans, Pensacola, pets
Possum, Squeak, Cricket & Lucy Jernigan
14 Saturday Jun 2014
Tags
atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, culture, death and dying, depression, dogs, DSM diagnosis, essays, french bulldog, gay, gay dating, Kubler Ross, LGBT, Life, liifestyle, love, memoirs, Pensacola, perspective, pets, point of view, schizophrenia, six stages of death, writers
My ex came and got Squeak from me, to spend the weekend with him and Possum. He has also made it painfully clear that we will never be together again, also that he never really loved me, at least “not the way I am remembering it.”
It’s 4:30 in the a.m., and I’m not sleeping. I take Cricket for a long walk, there’s a full moon and the air is electric.
My mother is 61 years old. She has refused her dialysis and it is simply a matter of time. Over the next week, I will take her lunch and sit with her, reading my book or watching TBN. She continues to pray that I will “be healed” from my homosexuality and will find a nice Christian wife. I lie to her and tell her I am going to church in St. Petersburg, and it gives her some small comfort, so that’s okay. If she doesn’t pass away this week, I will be forced to have our final goodbye on next Sunday, as I am financially destitute, plus I’ve used up all of my PTO and my bills and rent await.
I feel like my mother’s mental health robbed her of happiness and that she never really enjoyed a good quality of life. When the moon is full like this, and I am feeling restless and anxious, I worry that my mental health will soon betray me as well, and I am pessimistic most of the time. I fear I will always be alone, ending up in some nursing home with nothing, just like my mother.
Cricket knows something is wrong. She is a good girl, smart and intuitive and empathetic. Cricket gives me a lick, then curls up next to me on the bed and starts snoring. She will be there for me in the morning, tucked in and sleeping against my stomach…she knows she is loved and cherished, anyway.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
06 Tuesday May 2014
Tags
animals, atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book, cute, dogs, french bulldog, frenchton, gay, gay culture, gay dating, Lesbian, LGBT, love, Pensacola, pets, queer, St. Petersburg, tampa
Possum, Squeak, Cricket & Lucy Jernigan
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart
27 Sunday Apr 2014
Posted in My Heart
Tags
@thejohnjernigan, Adele, breakups, cute, dating, depression, dogs, french bulldog, gay, heartache, LGBT, loneliness, love, Mobile, new orleans, Pensacola, pets, queer, relationships, sadness, sex, Someone Like You, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, true love
I used to listen to this song and cry and feel sorry for myself. Two years have passed since my breakup. I still haven’t found anyone like him, I still love him, and I still have the occasional cry for him. See the standing ovation for Adele at the end of this awesome performance.
03 Thursday Apr 2014
Tags
Alabama, April Fool's, authors, Birmingham, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon $3.99, depression, essays, fort lauderdale, funny, gay, humor, Kindle app is free, Lesbian, LGBT, memoirs, Pensacola, queer, short stories, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled, writers
I had this great idea to send messages to four men on the facebook telling them how much I liked them, that I cared about them, that I would would wait on them for “as long as it took”, that I knew they cared about me, and finally that I was in their city and wanted to hookup asap. Brilliant, right? Of these 4 guys, three are in relationships and the 4th is…eccentric. Here is my message to them:
“Hi GUYS NAME, I know it’s been a while since we had any communication. I just wanted to tell you that I still like you a lot, and I miss you. I feel like we had a real connection, and you are still the most adorable guy that I have ever seen…so 100% just my type. In my own way, I had such a true crush on you, and actually started to care about you. I get the impression that you really liked me too, I know you did, and I think you would easily start to care about me if you allow yourself the opportunity. Listen, I am coming to Ft. Lauderdale/Birmingham/Pensacola this weekend and I really, really would love to hook up with you. I would love to have you come spend the night with me here, anytime you drive over/down. I hope we can make a true “love connection” and I’m prepared to wait on you, for as long as it takes! You should also buy a copy of my book, after all, you have your own chapter (I used GUYS 1st Name Last Initial when describing you)…have a good day handsome yours truly, seriously YOURS TRULY John Jernigan
Sounds pretty good, right? Not so much…
My 1st guy, who I actually did develop an online crush/affection for last year, messaged me back with the quickness! “Hey guy! Awww, so nice! Are you here through Sunday? I have to go see my dad this weekend, won’t be back until late Sunday” He had his escape plan ready to roll!
The 2nd guy, the cutest little fella that ever lived, responded “i was and am at a bit of a loss for words… very flattered of course…” When I messaged him back later with April Fool’s he didn’t respond, just ignored me
Guy #3, my smart, distinguished and eccentric friend, replied “Hey John, glad to hear all is well. I’m moving to Savannah, GA within the month, Stay in touch. ” Glad to hear all is well? I just told you I was smitten and stuff…you responded with well sorry leaving the state 😦
The 4th, and final, guy’s response was sad and truly made me realize the mistake this April Fool’s attempt at funny was. This sweet fella, let’s call him “Beth”, is smart and sweet and also the first and only man my age that I have ever shared uhh physical affection with…I sent him my message, no response, nothing. At around 10 p.m. I logged into the facebook to wish him an April Fool’s and: he had unfriended me! I can’t even tell him it was a prank, whatever he did he really did, like he disappeared entirely to me, he made himself invisible, even in searches. I hope he will read this and understand I was just trying to be funny, as usual. What’s not funny and is actually kind of sad is that I would love to have any of these 4 beautiful men for my own…but I will likely always be alone, trying to be funny and trying to make everyone laugh, while I just want to cry.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
28 Friday Mar 2014
Tags
atlanta, B-Bob's, buy John's book $3.99, dating, Dauphin St., drag queen, gay, Lesbian, LGBT, Mobile, new orleans, Pensacola, queer, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, Troopers, Venus Shante DaVis
with Jason Patterson, Venus Shante DaVis, and the late Lana L’amour
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
15 Saturday Mar 2014
Tags
2 Broke Girls, atlanta, Birmingham, buy John's book on Amazon, Candy Crush, dating, depression, dogs, facebook, fort lauderdale, gay, Justified, LGBT, Life, loneliness, love, Mystery Diners, new orleans, OKcupid, Pensacola, pets, relationships, scandal, sex, St. Petersburg, Suits, Tampa Bay, The Goldbergs, The Good Wife
The full moon, tides, whatever have me feeling a certain kind of way. I settle in on the couch and catch up on my shows, watching Scandal, the Good Wife, Suits, Justified, 2 Broke Girls, Mystery Diners, and the Goldbergs, intermittently crying. I am painfully aware that instead of living my life to the fullest, I have my adventures and live vicariously through my television, a sad imitation of life.
I like some friends’ posts on facebook, and friend request a few people. I play Candy Crush and Triviador. I watch some youtube videos of French bulldog and Boston terrier puppies. I make an attempt to finish reading MaddAddam, but my mind is racing, cycling, restlessly pessimistic.
I go back to facebook. I see that Mike J, who I briefly loved/thought I loved when I was very young, is in a relationship. I see that Don (who I had a crush on for years when I lived in Pensacola, that he never knew about, and actually never really met me) is in a relationship. I realize that there are probably a dozen or so good quality men that I am friends with on facebook, who I would love to explore a relationship with. There are honestly probably 50 or more distinguished gentleman out in the world that I have squandered my chances with, either by sleeping with them once or just not being mature or patient enough or too ADD to give love time to bloom? (bloom sounds corny, but yeah bloom).
I have a profile on a few of the dating websites, but have never had any luck there. A few different Saturday nights I have had a few drinks and walked to Georgie’s in search of Mr. Right…who definitely wasn’t there. Twice I have braved the bridge and gone hunting in Ybor (dangerous as I need some alcohol in me to be comfortable in a club) driving back at 4 a.m., unsuccessful, frustrated, and certain to get a DUI if pulled over.
I have the capacity to love and I am so so tired of being lonely. I am ready for my Knight in Shining Armor, please. I want to love again, to find my special someone, but it’s getting late, and the lights are starting to dim on my dreams.
Squeak is in dreamland, yelping and twitching. Careful not to wake the snoring 30-pound bulldog on my stomach, I scoot down the couch to her, rubbing her belly and calming her down. I whisper to her that everything will be okay, that we’re safe, that we’ll be fine…though I am no longer sure that is true.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
11 Tuesday Feb 2014
Tags
atlanta, dating, depression, funny, gay, humor, Lesbian, LGBT, loneliness, love, new orleans, Orlando, Pensacola, sex, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, Valentine's Day
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart
05 Wednesday Feb 2014
Tags
Alabama, animals, autobiography, Birmingham, book reviews, books, boston terrier, buy John's book, Cricket the French Bulldog, dating, dogs, essays, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, love, Mateo L'artiste, memoirs, Pensacola, pets, Tampa Bay
a snippet from my book, The Gay Road Less Traveled, $3.99 on Kindle
My Heart
“How Can I Love You More – M People”
When I went to pick out my new baby at a kennel in rural Alabama, the owner invited me into his house and led me down into the living room. In a big baby playpen there were two litters of French bulldog puppies playing, nine puppies, and all seven weeks old. There were two or three black puppies, a few brown, a light tan one, and one white puppy with a big black spot on its back. I noticed this puppy was slightly larger than the rest, more active, and she was not being nice to her littermates. She pounced on one of her brothers and knocked him over, then rammed the smallest puppy (the tan one) with her head, shoving it across the playpen while it squealed and cried. When the white puppy saw us she ran to the edge of the playpen and stood up, screaming and whining and imploring to be picked up, which the owner did. “That’s part of the problem right there” he said as he held her. “Every night I put the puppies to bed and they all go to sleep, except her, she screams and cries until my wife comes and gets her and puts her in the bed with us. She’s a smart little thing.”
I like to think I know a little bit about dogs. One thing I do know is that when choosing a new puppy, you’re supposed to pick one in the middle, not the alpha or the runt. The owner hands the puppy to me. This pot-bellied little grunting pig was the boss of this pack, no doubt. I should probably choose one of the brown puppies, still, this thing is white and black, she’ll match my two Boston’s, she’s female (only girls for me, dogs I mean) she’s smart. One test they advise doing with a puppy is to hold it in your arms like a baby, on its back with its belly exposed. If the puppy will stay still and be held it will likely be a good dog, because it’s secure and comfortable enough to let its guard down. I try this with the puppy. She bucks and whines and goes all stiff like a child having a temper tantrum. I try to rock her and hold her but she screams REAL loud like a hyena or something. I put her back in the playpen where she immediately pounces on one of the other puppies and lays on top of him, gnawing on his ear. She is adorably cute. I must have her! French Bulldogs have big ears, but they have to grow into them, this puppy’s ears are still all droopy and not standing up yet…she looks like a little cricket. Cricket.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Books Check 'Em Out
04 Saturday Jan 2014
Posted in My Favorite Things
03 Friday Jan 2014
Tags
atlanta, Birmingham, circuit party, DJ, Emerald City, french quarter, gay, global groove, house music, John's book on Kindle, Lesbian, LGBT, Lydia Prim, new orleans, Oz, Pensacola, quarter rats, queer
A three month period where my tweaked out friend Dale and I tried to run a nightclub, when the Office in Pensacola closed and before Emerald City opened. I remember lots of Tina 🙂 lots of after hours extracurricular activities and making a lot of money slinging drinks. I also remember some of the Quarter rats we hired being busy all night, then when we cashed them out they had rung like $77 in sales, and kept the rest…One small highlight, we did get Lydia Prim, one of the best DJs in the world, to spin a few nights.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
09 Monday Dec 2013
Tags
adoption, boston terrier, Cricket the French Bulldog, culture, dogs, french bulldog, funny, inspirational, john jernigan, love, new orleans, Pensacola, pet adoption, pets, pitbull, Squeak the Boston Terrier, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Shortcake needs a forever home! My friend Jessica has been taking care of her for a few weeks now, but she lives in a shotgun house with four dogs and her man, and she can’t add a 5th 😦 She would be willing to drive around Florida or to Alabama or Mississippi or Nola to bring Shortcake to her forever home.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart
08 Sunday Dec 2013
Tags
boston terrier, Cricket the French Bulldog, dogs, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, Pensacola, pets, Squeak the Boston Terrier, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart
18 Tuesday Jun 2013
Tags
arrest, criminal, culture, Escambia County, funny, gay, humor, Jail View, john jernigan, LGBT, opinion, Pensacola, St. Petersburg, Sunshine State Law, Tampa Bay
I was a social worker in child protection for several years in Escambia County, and I still peruse Jail View now and again. Rock on, Mr. Cornelius!
DIXON, TONJAS CORNELIUS (B / MALE)
Status: In Jail
Booking No: ECSO13JBN008478
Booking Date: 06/11/2013 18:33:54
Age On Booking Date: 20
Bond Amount: $515000.00
CELL Assigned:
Facility: ECSO , Dorm: R3 , Pod: R3 , Cell No: RED Visitation Schedule
Address Given: 1230 RIO GRANDE CIR PENSACOLA FL 32505
CHARGES
STATUTE CASENO CHARGE DEGREE LEVEL BOND
810.02.4b 13-2938 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2940 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2942 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2759 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2762 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2936 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2936 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $2500.00
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810.02.4b 13-2934 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2934 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $2500.00
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810.02.4b 13-2933 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
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812.014.2c6 13-2929 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.61 13-2929 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.61 13-2931 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $7500.00
Court Information
817.481.1 13-2769 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS S M $2500.00
Court Information
817.60.8 13-2769 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $25000.00
Court Information
817.481.1 13-2768 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS S M $2500.00
Court Information
817.60.8 13-2768 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $15000.00
Court Information
806.13.1b3 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) DAMAGE PROP-CRIM MISCH T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4a 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2927 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
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810.02.4b 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $7500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-2930 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2760 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2761 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-2764 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $15000.00
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810.02.4b 13-2764 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $15000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2763 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $15000.00
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812.014.3b 13-2763 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $15000.00
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810.02.4b 13-2767 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-2767 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $20000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $25000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $20000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2766 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) VEH THEFT T F $20000.00
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810.02.4b 13-2765 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $7500.00
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812.014.2c1 13-2765 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC T F $7500.00
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810.02.4b 13-2925 (ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE) BURGL T F $10000.00
Court Information
812.014.2c6 13-2925 (ESCAMBIA COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE) VEH THEFT T F $10000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005230 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005232 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL S F $5000.00
Court Information
812.014.2a1 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F F $1000.00
Court Information
817.60.1 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
Court Information
817.61 13-005235 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) FRAUD-ILLEG USE CREDIT CARDS T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005236 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13.005237 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005238 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.2e 13-005238 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC F M $1000.00
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810.02.3a 13-005240 (PPD) BURGL S F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005240 (PPD) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.2c1 13-005240 (PPD) LARC T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005242 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005243 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $5000.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005255 (PPD) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
810.02.4b 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) BURGL T F $2500.00
Court Information
812.014.3a 13-005246 (PENSACOLA POLICE DEPARTMENT) LARC S M $1000.00
Court Information
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
02 Tuesday Apr 2013
Posted in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
Tags
dating, fort lauderdale, gay, humor, inspirational, john jernigan, LGBT, Pensacola, perspective, point of view, queer, south Florida
Seeing all of my shit out on a curb might be the catalyst needed in order for me to get my life together…notice that framed Master’s degree in the middle of my pile…
18 Monday Mar 2013
Posted in My Heart
Tags
culture, daddies, dating, gay, gay adoption, gay fathers, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, Pensacola, relationships, sex, William Killough
I wants me a baby…Lord knows I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time now…I used babymorpher to show what my babies would look like with my forever unrequited love William, and they’s cute, I mean crute. Our baby boy does look a little ethnic onto it, takes after me, ya heard?
16 Saturday Mar 2013
Posted in Music is the Answer
Tags
atlanta, culture, cyrus spencer, dance music, DJ, dragon house, dub step, gay, john jernigan, LGBT, new orleans, Pensacola, poppin' off, sytycd, watch the duck
I’ll tell ya / Somethin’ pissed me off / I don’t walk around talkin’ ’bout it / Wasn’t into it / Then it started poppin’ off
21 Thursday Feb 2013
Posted in My Heart
Tags
Alabama Shakes, dating, gay, gay fort lauderdale, john jernigan, LGBT, new orleans, Pensacola, relationships, sex, south Florida
Today I was made to understand that I am never going to be reunited with my ex, who was quite possibly the love of my life. I will always love you Bobby
19 Tuesday Feb 2013
Tags
dating, fort lauderdale, gay, Henry Czerny, john jernigan, LGBT, Pensacola, Revenge, sex, south Florida
Mrs. John Jernigan-Czerny
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under I Love You Man
