Tags
Chelsea Handler, culture, cute, gay, LGBT, lifestyle, love, MSNBC, News, perspective, relationships, St. Petersburg
15 Friday Jul 2016
Posted I Love You Man, My Heart, the Flaming Homosexual
inTags
Chelsea Handler, culture, cute, gay, LGBT, lifestyle, love, MSNBC, News, perspective, relationships, St. Petersburg
23 Saturday Jan 2016
Tags
adoption, culture, gay, gay adoption, Haiti, inspirational, LGBT, Miami, perspective, point of view, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
These pics are of maybe my favorite all-time child in my 10 years of social work. Her name is Joy, a little Haitian girl from Miami. She was on my caseload the whole time I was in south Florida and I spent a lot of time with her. I’ve since moved back to St. Petersburg. About 3 weeks ago I was so happy to find out that a family in Pinellas County had been matched with her for adoption and better yet my bestie Kristie Giancola had been assigned to complete their Adoption Home Study. Joy was getting adopted and I would get to see her again, yeah!!! Late last week the family called Kristie and told her they had changed their mind, they didn’t want to adopt Joy anymore, because they had concerns she “wasn’t smart enough” (apparently Joy had forgotten their bio daughter’s name in their phone conversation). Joy is still in a foster home in Miami, available for adoption. Social work in south Florida is so shitty. I was worried when I left that her new case manager wouldn’t have any sense of urgency in finding her a home, and that appears to be the case. I just looked on the Miami Dade Heart Gallery website and there is no picture or bio for Joy š¦Ā Some pretty horrible things happened to her that lead to removal from her parents, and now the family she thought were going to be her new mommy and daddy have changed their mind. Kristie had to close the case and won’t be doing those DOUCHEBAGS home study now!
23 Saturday Jan 2016
Tags
adoption, autism, culture, gay, gay adoption, inspirational, LGBT, love, perspective, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg
Last night I covered a group home visit forĀ a co-worker MattĀ in Clearwater to see a 10 year old. Matt had warned me that this 10 year old wouldn’t talk to me and probably wouldn’t even look at me since he didn’t know me, as he is autistic and almost entirely nonverbal.Ā This kidĀ made me so happy, when the house mother brought me in and told this little boy that I was there to see him he got up and immediately came to me. I thought he was going to give me a hug but instead he turned away from me and stood really close, leaning the back of his head on my chest. He then made several contented sounding noises that I heard to be happy greetings. I wanted to give him a hug but I was aware that he didn’t like to be touched unless he initiated it. Instead I tousled his hair and patted his shoulder as he leaned into me, and simply talked to him for a few minutes about everything and nothing. It was maybe the sweetest best thing that had ever happened to me. His foster mother remarked that it was really strange because he had never been open and friendly with anyone he didn’t know. He made my day, week, year! This 10 year olds picture and bio are on the Pinellas County Heart Gallery. He is available for adoption with lots of other great kids! I specifically urge my LGBT community to consider adoption, we have so many great kids that nobody wants…
29 Tuesday Dec 2015
Posted My Favorite Things, My Heart
in18 Saturday Jul 2015
Posted Funny Shit, My Favorite Things, the Flaming Homosexual
inTags
China, Chinese, Clearwater Florida, culture, flea market, funny, gay, gay blog, LGBT, queer, shopping, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, Thrift Store
11 Thursday Jun 2015
Tags
Chipotle, cooking, foodie, funny, gay, gourmet, health, healthy eating, humor, john jernigan, lifestyle, McDonalds, St. Petersburg, tampa
Chipotle has scared McDonald’s and they are really trying to step it up. I took a teenager waiting on her intake to the fancy Mickey D’s on Belcher today. The old white lady took our order and gave us a buzzer and said she would bring the food to us!? We had a seat at a lovely lil 2 top with a cool 70’s design. When the lady brought our food the fries were in this cute little fry basket (that I couldn’t steal with my impressionable youth in tow). They done come up! Was still 10 nuggets for $1.49 though, ya heard? Also, where McRib at? #foodie
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
Posted introducing, My Favorite Things
inTags
Asian, best gay blog, Chinese, ethnic cooking, foodie, gay marriage, john jernigan, Mandarin, Oriental Market, perspective, point of view, shopping, St. Petersburg, tampa
Wanted criminal Amanda Bott and yours truly discovered this most awesome Asian grocery store in Pinellas Park today, big and clean and full of authentic cool everything ! Goose eggs ($7!) and live fish and shrimp and ALL the ramen. Amanda was just grabbing up things, I was not, due to budgetary constraints and whatnot
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
Tags
best gay blog, foodie, funny, gay, healthy eating, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, lifestyle, McDonalds, St. Petersburg, tampa, Wawa
The good news is I weigh less than 150 pounds. The bad news is my blood pressure is 156 over 108. McDonalds has two bacon egg and cheese biscuits for $3 , which I just inhaled. They didn’t even make a dent in my hunger!Ā I want some ribs…
Add a large black and white Wawa milkshake, because everybody knows they are fat free and it’s only about 40 calories or something like that
10 Wednesday Jun 2015
26 Tuesday Aug 2014
Tags
buy John's book $2.99 on Amazon, fort lauderdale, gay, gay blog, Gypsy, LGBT, love, Miami, relationships, social worker, St. Petersburg, Take a Lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic, Tampa Bay
I have made some great friends in St. Petersburg, and Tampa, and Clearwater, and Largo, and Pinellas Park, and Bradenton, and all around the area. But I have made great friends in other places I’ve lived as well (love you Ashley and Kelli) and it appears I can only outrun my unhappiness for a short time. A gypsy I am, and a gypsy I’ll be. I always think I’ll be happier somewhere else, things will be better, I will find someone to love me. I know this is true because stupid, stupid me has kind of fallen in love with 2 different guys I only know (or thought I knew) from the internet…how you doin’, Mr. C and Mr. O? I so very much want that knight in shining armor, that winning lottery ticket, that beautiful baby, that man who looks at me like maybe I am magic. I applied for jobs in Atlanta and Miami, and Miami called first, so I’m headed south, running away from my mental health, trying to be happy again, if only for a while.
20 Sunday Jul 2014
02 Wednesday Jul 2014
Posted introducing, My Favorite Things
inTags
@thejohnjernigan, adoption case manager, adoptions, atlanta, Bebe's kids, bloods, buy John's book on Amazon, child protective services, crips, culture, cute, funny, gangs, gay, humor, juvenile deliquency, LGBT, Life, love, MSW, perspective, point of view, social worker, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
When I was a case manager in Pensacola, I had a big office all to myself. I would collect small toys at different thrift stores and flea markets, and kept them in said office for the children on my caseload. 2 years later, I still have bags full of toys. I had a home visit scheduled this evening, to see a three-year old on one of my cases. I brought my bag of toys for him, and the other foster kids in the home, and the foster mother’s grandbaby, with the plan that each toddler could have 2-3 toys. At my arrival, the “gang” and I do mean gang included my three-year old *Bubba, siblings *Peanut and *Bean three and 1 1/2 years old, and the foster mother’s granddaughter *Atari, 4 years old. All were observed to have snotty noses.
The five of us got down on the living room floor and I dumped the bag of toys out. They all started grabbing and pushing. Bean sat down right in the middle of the pile. I tried to help Atari pick out the few girls toys, but Peanut snatched up a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake, causing Atari to start screaming and trying to kick Peanut, who smartly remained just out of reach. His little brother Bean wasn’t as lucky. He was intently slobbering and putting toys in his mouth when Atari hit him over the head with a Triceratops, hard, and he started screaming and crying. I tried to explain to Peanut that he didn’t want girls toys, but his foster mother (who is ancient, older than her own mother, and whose voicemail jumps right into quoting scripture without so much as a hello) shrugged and said “Peanut be likin’ girl stuff, that’s how he do.”
Bubba was stockpiling toys behind him, and Peanut and Atari started grabbing again. Peanut put poor Boots up his nose. Atari was trying to be sneaky and was hiding toys underneath her, looking off into space so she wouldn’t have to make eye contact with me. Bubba and Peanut started grabbing up toys and running them to their bedroom, in the back of the house. Old Mother Hubbard didn’t say shit. Atari refused to stand up, because she was sitting on several toys, including Stitch, Eor and Oscar the Grouch. She never stood up until I left, furtively watching me with her little thievin’ eyes. As soon as I had three or four toys in front of one of them and thought I was good, the others had grabbed up more, except baby Bean, who needed changing, BADLY š¦
All three of the older gremlins got 5-6 toys each at least, and when I started putting the remaining toys back in the bag, all four of them started screaming again, yelling No! Stop! Mine! Peanut even started crying. As I made my exit Bubba and Peanut were wrestling and screaming over a giraffe, Atari was nesting on her stolen loot, and Bean was gnawing Miss Piggy’s face off.
* Not their names
28 Saturday Jun 2014
Tags
art, atlanta, Basquiat, boston terrier, buy John's book, Cricket the French Bulldog, culture, dogs, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, LGBT, Life, love, modern art, pets, pop art, pop culture, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, Warhol
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things, My Heart
22 Sunday Jun 2014
Tags
atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, country line dancing, culture, cute, flea market, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, LGBT, perspective, pets, pitbull attacks, point of view, racism, St. Petersburg, urban
Due to budgetary constraints, “Tanisha” was my only purchase at the Wagon Wheel flea market today: 25 cents! I’m going to put her up on a shelf, rather than let Cricket murder her. It would be kind of racist, plus I don’t want Cricket and Squeak to start thinking they can bite black babies (and other babies as well, I guess). Check out the video I shot, some of my kinfolk gettin’ they groove on.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things
17 Tuesday Jun 2014
Tags
animals, atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, culture, cute, dating, depression, dogs, french bulldog, french quarter, funny, gay, happiness, humor, LGBT, lifestyle, love, Miami, new orleans, perspective, pets, point of view, puppies, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things
08 Sunday Jun 2014
Tags
atlanta, buy John's book on Amazon, cuisine, culture, fine dining, foodie, Fried Chicken, funny, gay, humor, Kombucha, Lesbian, LGBT, love, Publix, Sriracha, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Publix fried chx with Sriracha, then a red velvet cheesecake. And I know it’s all hipster trendy and whatnot, but I finally tried Kombucha, and it’s nasty, yuck š¦
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things
08 Sunday Jun 2014
Tags
atlanta, boston terrier, buy John's book on Amazon, Chef, country, dating, dogs, fine dining, foodie, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, LGBT, Michelin star, perspective, pets, point of view, relationships, southern culture, St. Petersburg, sweet home Alabama, Tampa Bay, trailer park royalty, Wal-Mart brand
64 cent Wal-Mart Great Value Chef Boyardee and a big cup of coffee…I got such refined tastes and whatnot…a foodie, ya heard?
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
06 Friday Jun 2014
Posted My Heart
in06 Friday Jun 2014
Posted My Heart
in26 Monday May 2014
Tags
@thejohnjernigan, buy John's book, depression, fairy tale, funny, gay, gay stereotypes, humor, LGBT, lifestyle, loneliness, love story, perspective, point of view, queer, raccoons, ratchet, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, the Normal Heart, turnt up
One upon a time there were two raccoons who lived in Florida, in the woods near the beach. Neither raccoon was young, though they tried. For example, Rascal still wore silver gauges in his ears and used Just for Coon on his eyebrows, while Ren had little silver barbells in six of his nipples, and described his fur as being decidedly darker than it actually was in his online dating profiles.
Rascal and Ren were both clever, as most raccoons are, each in their own way. Rascal loved to read, and had a vivid imagination, and was something of a dreamer, while Ren was more grounded, more practical, and had extremely dexterous fingers. Ren could program computers and put together IKEA furniture and change a tire, all things that Rascal was hopelessly incapable of. Ren’s fingers were also magical in the bedroom, but this is a fairy tale for the cubs, so we will explore his legendary sexual prowess another time. Rascal and Ren were also lucky and grateful to be healthy, as they both have had friends, lovers and even litter-mates die from the scourge of the gay raccoon community, Rabies.
What brought these two clever fellows together was their loneliness. As you may have gleaned, both Rascal and Ren are known to be homosexuals, which is not as rare in the animal kingdom as you might think. Being cute and clever and vaguely masculine, Rascal and Ren never had any problems having the gay sex, in fact they were very popular in that regard, but something was always missing. I can’t speak for Ren, but for Rascal, all of the old coons trying to get into his fur had lost it’s luster, after a couple of decades anyway. He knew he was different, special, not a stereotype, he just desperately wanted someone to see him and understand him and all of his eccentricities.
Rascal was extremely excited and turnt up to meet Ren, because seemingly Ren was the not-same as him….in fact, Ren’s online profile stated: NOT A STEREOTYPE, so it must be true.
Over the next week Rascal’s need to be loved and his vivid imagination went kind of wild over Ren. He would sit and chitter softly to himself while washing his food for hours, thinking about Ren. He had both happy thoughts about finding a husband and naughty thoughts about Ren’s well-preserved body (Rascal was a little conflicted, because Ren had sent him a pic wearing only a tiny little speedo, both titillating but also troubling because the pic was taken out in the woods with other raccoons around).
Rascal possibly imagined Ren to be more than he is, but maybe not, maybe Ren is kind and smart and thoughtful and loving and patient (and Rascal realizes how important patience would be in his potential partner, remember he’s special). Rascal dreams about Ren most nights, and has happy endings…wet dream happy endings. Guess we’re not going to market this as a child’s fairy tale. To explain, Ren is so much on Rascal’s brain that he is dreaming about him at night, and in his dreams Ren is even more awesome (Rascal dreams big, both awake and asleep, and often climaxes). Ren has rescued Rascal and his mice (Stinky and Nugget) from Hurricane Katrina, wading out with a mouse under each arm. Ren has been Richard Gere as the knight in shining armor, rescuing Julia Roberts (Rascal) from her dingy apartment and riding err driving off into the sunset. Most recently, most vividly and most troubling, last night Ren gallantly gave Rascal something medically, a little fuzzy but Rascal remembers it being a bone marrow transplant or possibly a kidney…regardless, awesome sauce you is Ren!
Here is where our lovely fairy tale takes a turn that could devolve into a tragedy with no happy ending. Remember Ren is smart and clever and a little sneaky, so he got great news that he had been accepted into law school, yeah! Law school not in their shared woods, but over the river and through the woods and up the interstate to a more provincial wooded campus. Ren messages Rascal with his great news, but then his awesomeness kind of dissipates, as he explains that although he knows Rascal will be disappointed, he is sorry but school starts in August and he has to find a place to live and pack up and will be busy and his future plans no longer include Rascal. Rascal is confused, and sad, and angry.
Ren has been reckless with Rascal’s heart, and his goddamn imagination, and his Freudian wet dreams of rescue. Rascal is still imagining living happily ever after, of cubs, of Ren’s magical fingers, of love. Rascal watches the Normal Heart (mistake) and cries, either about the rabies epidemic or over Ren. Rascal talks himself through Ren’s position: Rascal has a nice almost new BMW, so making the drive to see his love would be no problem. There is cub abuse everywhere, and Rascal has a couple of degrees, so he knows he can be gainfully employed over there. Rascal is pretty sure that Ren doesn’t want to keep his options open for the chance at one of those country frat coons, after all he is at least thirty (30) years older than they are. Rascal doesn’t really have any family, and nothing to keep him in these woods. Rascal has imagined Ren to be all of these beautiful things, and thought/still thinks Ren is that person, complicated and discerning and layered…and that Ren has the same capacity to love and care about him that he has for Ren. Rascal wants the fairy tale, the happily ever after, the opportunity to get to know the real Ren, and love him forever…and they lived happily ever after?
Rascal’s online profiles always say he is “versatile” but we know what time it is, buddy.
Ren was somewhat embarrassingly an amateur porn star in the late 80’s, including some inter-species videos š¦
Rascal has had a long, sad, troubling relationship history with old white men, who plied him with liquor and crawfish and weed and stuff
Rascal is an Adoptions worker, and here is the little nugget he and Ren adopted together, named Gator
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual
24 Saturday May 2014
Tags
Andy Warhol, Basquiat, buy John's book, eye stye, Florence & the Machine, funny, gay, gay dating, Gypsy, humor, Lemongrass St. Petersburg, LGBT, modern art, Nitally's St. Petersburg, perspective, point of view, queer, Romany, St. Petersburg, tampa, Tampa Bay, the Dali Museum, the dog days are over, the Warhol Exhibit, Thinner Stephen King
Dear Diary,
On days like these I have to question if I have a gypsy curse , voodoo or worse hoodoo, did somebody put roots on me?! My story begins last week, when I met this lovely man on the interwebs. He is cute, smart, former military, and is clever in his texting and emails. We made a date to have lunch at Lemongrass on today (Saturday) and then we were going to the Warhol Exhibit at the Dali. I have been preparing all week for this day, getting an expensive haircut, buying a new Polo shirt to match my eyes, Just for Men-ing my eyebrows, cleaning the apartment, bathing the gremlins, and finally calling in sick to work and going to the beach (so I will be all tan/red and healthy looking when we have our joyous meet). I am so excited, I am ready, the dog days are over, this is my husband!
During the night, I wake up a couple of times rubbing my eye, which is bothering me for some reason. I finally get up for good around 8 a.m. and have a look in the mirror: it’s bad, real bad. My right eyelid is red and swollen, making my eyes observably different sizes. I panic and google and text my friends and figure out I apparently have a stye. Now this is where I start to question being cursed. I have never had a stye in my life, didn’t even know what it was, but I mysteriously have one on the only, only, only day that I am meeting this beautiful man? FML…
I can’t let my future ex-husband see my like this, and when I explain my situation he (quickly) agrees to push our glorious meeting out a few days, when I am better. He was very agreeable to this, especially after I disclosed it was vaguely contagious š¦ I hope he is the patient and loving and kind man that i have imagined him to be, and will wait for my disease to dissipate. I just can’t let him see his future blushing bride with one big eye and one little eye, it ain’t cute.
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
22 Thursday May 2014
Posted My Heart
inTags
animals, boston terrier, buy John's book, cute, dating, David Sedaris, dogs, french bulldog, funny, funny videos. sex, gay, gay sex, humor, Lesbian, LGBT, lifestyle, love, pet videos, pets, queer, relationships, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
I screamed “Get off yer sister!”
21 Wednesday May 2014
Posted My Heart
inTags
animals, authors, books, boston terrier, buy John's book, cute dogs, cute videos, dog videos, dogs, french bulldog, funny, gay, gay blog, humor, LGBT, love, pets, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay, writers
the fat one!
19 Monday May 2014
Tags
32 Flavors, Alana Davis, Ani Difranco, buy John's book, cover songs, dating, funny, gay, humor, LGBT, lifestyle, love, music, perspective, point of view, pop music, queer, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, Tampa Bay
Squint your eyes a little closer
17 Saturday May 2014
Tags
animals, boston terrier, buy John's book $3.99 on Amazon, culture, cute, cute dogs, dating, depression, dog, french bulldog, gay, happiness, inspirational, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, loneliness, love, perspective, pets, point of view, relationships, sadness, sex, St. Petersburg, tampa
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things
17 Saturday May 2014
Tags
animals, buy John's book $3.99 on Amazon, culture, dating, depression, dog, gay, happiness, inspirational, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, loneliness, love, perspective, pets, point of view, relationships, sadness, sex, St. Petersburg, tampa
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood
17 Saturday May 2014
Tags
animals, buy John's book $3.99 on Amazon, Clark Gregg, culture, dating, depression, dog, gay, happiness, inspirational, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, loneliness, love, Martin Freeman, perspective, pets, point of view, relationships, sadness, sex, St. Petersburg, tampa
Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood