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The Gay Road Less Traveled

The Gay Road Less Traveled

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Happy National Boston Terrier Day!

19 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by johnjernigan in Dogs is People Too, introducing, My Favorite Things, My Heart

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art, author, books, boston terrier, Bulldog, Cricket the French Bulldog, dogs, drag queen, french bulldog, gay, LGBT, Squeak the Boston Terrier, the gay road less traveled, writer

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Johnny’s Favorite Songs of 2018

09 Sunday Dec 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in introducing, Music is the Answer, My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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2018, art, autobiography, best gay blog, dance, dance music, DJ, drake, gay, gay author, gay blog, hip hop, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, memoir, movies, music, queer, rap, the gay road less traveled

For me, music in 2018 was about two things…

1. Collaborations : Elton John & Young Thug, A$AP Rocky & Moby, Nicki Minaj & Takashi 6ix9ine, Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper, Drake & EVERYBODY

2. That hook, yo: “Brand new whip got no keys
Tailor my clothes, no starch please
Soon as I nut, you can gon’ leave
Got M’s in the bank, like “Yes, indeed”

“Pussy got that wet, wet, got that drip, drip
Got that Super Soaker, hit that, she a Fefe
Her name Keke, she eat my dick like it’s free, free
I don’t even know like “Why I did that?”

“I still see your shadows in my room
Can’t take back the love that I gave you
It’s to the point where I love and I hate you
And I cannot change you so I must replace you”

  1. NICE FOR WHAT – DRAKE feat BIG FREEDIA & 5th WARD WEEBIE With 12 hit singles, Scorpion was fire in 2018! Nice for What is the bright shining star of the album. It had strippers twerkin’ all around the world this summer. Shout-out to Nawlins royalty Big Freedia.

2. YES INDEED – DRAKE feat LIL BABY Drake is Drake on this track, a solid spit, but Lil Baby stole the show. His hook and delivery are so on point/different/lyrical, a Star is Born!

3. FREEBIRD II – PARQUET COURTS From hip-hop to what I will describe as classic 70’s Southern Rock in 2018, think Creedence Clearwater Revival or the Doobie Brothers

4. BOO’D UP – ELLA MAI The anthem for sisters everywhere this year, Ella singing excitedly about her significant other who she is head over heels in love with, that bitch #lonely #allmenaredogs

5. LUCID DREAMS – JUICE WRLD Lucid Dreams didn’t initially impress me, instead, it grew on me over time, a slow burn, turned out to be a uniquely different quality song.

6. AFRICA – WEEZER Everything old is new again…wish I was. Toto’s version is one of my favorite all-time songs, a fond memory from childhood, and while Weezer’s cover isn’t the original, it’s still good #1982

7. MY QUEEN IS HARRIET TUBMAN – SONS OF KEMET Takes me back to the beloved Big Easy, shades of Kermit Ruffins or “Skokiaan” by Louis Armstrong.

8. MAKE ME FEEL -JANELLE MONAE A tribute to Prince, and it has that cool vibe, very Erotic City-ish

9. CHUN-LI -NICKI MINAJ Although she hasn’t gone down without a fight, Nicki’s reign as the Queen of Hip-Hop is over. Chun-Li is catchy, crisp, and lyrical, a solid goodbye track for the end of an era.

10. SHALLOW – LADY GAGA & BRADLEY COOPER “I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I’ll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us
We’re far from the shallow now”

11. POWERGLIDE – RAE SRUMMOND Super catchy follow-up to Black Beatles, on my 2017 Favorites list

12. BAD AT LOVE – HALSEY “Got a boy back home in Michigan
And it tastes like Jack when I’m kissing him
So I told him that I never really liked his friends
Now he’s gone and he’s calling me a bitch again
There’s a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we make it ’til we graduate
So I told him the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate”

13. MO BAMBA – SHECK WES Shout out to Mo Bamba in Orlando, yo!

14. HIGH – YOUNG THUG feat ELTON JOHN When I think hip-hop, I think Elton John, ya heard?

15, 1950 – KING PRINCESS She sounds a lot like Lorde, and she’s a lesbian, which is cool #gaypride

16. MINE – BAZZI A cute/catchy little song by a tween heart-throb, if that’s your type…not mine #daddyissues

17. A$AP FOREVER – A$AP ROCKY feat Moby “Porcelain” is one of my all-time favorite songs, and I love how it’s sampled here, but truthfully, this song is good but would have been fire if A$AP’s verses were better

18. ANNA WINTOUR – AZEALIA BANKS 212 was such a delightfully fun dance track, and while I think Ms, Banks uses the same beat for Anna Wintour, not quite as magical, but still pretty good…with her crazy-ass, everybody hates you Azealia!

19. FLEA MARKET – TIERRA WHACK With Nicki Minaj on the way out, Cardi B overplayed and under-talented, and Remy Ma seemingly without quality tracks (she is a true rapper/can spit fire), maybe the super-talented Tierra Whack can seize the crown?

20. WOMP WOMP – VALEE feat JEREMIH “Womp, womp, she give me what I wanna
Ball so hard, need a warm up, I bagged her at the Walmart (yeah)
Big timer, stunna, I’m out here on the come up
I beat the pussy, drummer, I roll up, no more drama (yeah)”

21. MIKA DORA – AMEN DUNES Introducing Amen Dunes, a talented singer comparable to John Mayer (but not a douchebag like John)

22. SICKO MODE – TRAVIS SCOTT feat DRAKE “Had me out like a light”

23. NON-STOP -DRAKE

My favorite Dance tracks of 2018

PICK-UP – DJ KOZE feat GLADYS KNIGHT

HAPPIER – MARSHMELLO feat BASTILLE

IS IT COLD IN THE WATER? – SOPHIE

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Menagerie – Rachel Vincent

14 Wednesday Nov 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, introducing, My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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authors, book reviews, books, Carnival, fantasy, fiction, gay, gay authors, gay writers, john jernigan, LGBT, movies, queer, Rachel Vincent, the gay road less traveled, Unicorn, writers

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A compelling, awesome, unique and imaginative story…so different it’s hard to explain, fantastically good!

“There there is breathtaking beauty behind the seamy and grotesque reality of the carnival. Gallagher, her handler, is as kind as he is cryptic and strong. The other “attractions”—mermaids, minotaurs, griffins and kelpies—are strange, yes, but they share a bond forged by the brutal realities of captivity. And as Delilah struggles for her freedom, and for her fellow menagerie, she’ll discover a strength and a purpose she never knew existed.”

“Welcome to the menagerie, where beauty and grace shine from every cage and peek from every shadow. You’ve never seen anything like the exotic wonders within, so keep your eyes open, ladies and gentlemen, because in our world of spectacle and illusion, what you see isn’t always what you get.”

“But if monsters could look like humans, and humans could look like monsters, how could anyone ever really be sure that the right people stood on the outside of all those cages?”

“Drea, why don’t you turn a circle and give us a good look?” the talker said, his chest all puffed out, as if he’d had something to do with making me perform.

“Fuck you,” I said, nice and clear, in spite of my fuller voice, so everyone could hear.

A couple of teens near the back of the crowd laughed, but the mothers scowled and covered their children’s ears.

“Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen,” the talker called with an amiable chuckle. “Most of our exhibits were born and raised in the carnival, and they hear a lot of rough language.”

“Most of our handlers are full of shit,” I added, drawing more laughter from the back of the crowd. “I learned to cuss the same place all of your kids did. In middle school.”

“A wolf will growl to warn you that it’s angry and a bull will paw the ground before charging. Rattlesnakes rattle, cats moan and hiss, and hyenas grunt and cackle. But a man will smile right in your face as he drives a knife into your heart.”

“If you cut off my hands, I’ll write with my feet, and if you cut off my feet, I’ll write with my nose, and if you cut that off, you may as well cut my whole head off, because no matter how you slice and dice me, you can’t control what I think, or what I feel. You can keep me locked up for the rest of my life, however brief that may be. But you will never, ever own me.”

“She won’t serve her dish cold,” the oracle mumbled, almost with giddy joy as chill bumps rose all over her skin. “And two graves won’t be near enough…”

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Kawhi Leonard on Bad Boys

19 Tuesday Jun 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit, Movies

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actor, basketball, boston, funny, gay, humor, kawhi leonard, lakers, LGBT, movies, NBA, the gay road less traveled

Kawhi want to to get back to L.A. to resume his ashy acting career yo!

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Whose Kid is This?

21 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit

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funny, funny videos, gay, humor, LGBT, new orleans, the gay road less traveled

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Dog Food Diet?

07 Wednesday Mar 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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author, books, boston, ebook, fort lauderdale, gay, gay author, LGBT, memoir, Miami, queer, south beach, the gay road less traveled, writer

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From my memoir “The Gay Road Less Traveled” Please go buy a copy on Amazon!

“I texted him to tell him I didn’t really eat dog food, but that’s a crazy sentence to send to somebody. The worst part is that he was popular and had lots of friends in Fort Lauderdale and Miami, now they all think I eat dog food.”

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New Orleans 1997

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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book, books, boston terrier, ebook, french bulldog, gay, gay author, gay writer, humor, john jernigan, kindle, LGBT, memoir, new orleans, queer, relationships, the gay road less traveled

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an excerpt from my memoir “The Gay Road Less Traveled”

New Orleans 1997
Dear Diary, we lost Princess Diana this year. At Halloween, lots of the drag queens in New Orleans honored her by dressing up as the beloved princess, that’s what I initially thought, but as I looked closer at their outfits, all of them had blood and tire tracks on their dresses, and one queen had a steering wheel around her neck!

 

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My Book is Published!

23 Tuesday Jan 2018

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, John Jernigan, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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author, books, ebook, gay, good reads, john jernigan, LGBT, the gay road less traveled, writer

 

 

 

 

Please go buy The Gay Road Less Traveled on Amazon!

 

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Johnny’s Favorite Songs of 2017

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by johnjernigan in introducing, Music is the Answer, the Flaming Homosexual

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2017, art, Beyonce, boston, dance music, ed sheeran, eminem, gay, halsey, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, migos, music, New Years, News, opinion, pop music, rap music, reviews, the gay road less traveled

  1. EVERYTHING NOW – ARCADE FIRE (Scroll to 46 seconds on this video to start of song) My fav song of the year, a mashup that sounds like the Hustle from the 70’s, gayest Erasure, OMD, add a dash of hipster irony…You’ve Got Everything Now!!!

2. RUNNIN’ -NAUGHTY BOY featuring BEYONCE A super catchy and addictive little song that I played over and over again this year. It first caught my ear in a Chanel commercial with Kirsten Stewart (Runnin’)

3. WALK ON WATER – EMINEM featuring BEYONCE Although she’s featured in two of my three favorite songs of the year, I’m not a big Beyonce fan, her vocal talent is unquestioned, she’s just not very smart and lacks personality.

4. BAD & BOUJEE – MIGOS featuring LIL UZI VERT Ahh, Migos, you were the bright shining stars of 2017, although nobody could understand what you were saying! I fear that like a falling star, Migos’ hotness will soon cool, and they will fade away

5. FEEL IT STILL – PORTUGAL THE MAN

6. BODAK YELLOW – CARDI B Since being introduced to Cardi on Love & Hip Hop NY , I have loved Cardi’s ratchetness and ghetto fabulous sense of humor (when she started making money she wanted to get her teeth fixed, but she was scared, because she was worried she wouldn’t be able to suck dick as good)

7. HOW FAR I’LL GO/MOANA – ALESSIA CARA A lovely little song for little girls and gay men everywhere

8. BLACK BEATLES – RAE SRUMMOND

9. DOWN – MARIAN HILL

 

10. BAD AT LOVE – HALSEY I knew Halsey before she blew up and kinda sold out, she is a unique and talented singer who I predict will have a long and successful career (unlike Migos or Cardi B). Check out her guest appearance on Roadies, when Machine Gun Kelly kind of falls in love with her

11. MASK OFF – FUTURE “Percocets, Molly, Percocets” “Chase a Bitch, Never Chase a Bitch”

12. SIGN OF THE TIMES -HARRY STYLES

13. THUNDER -IMAGINE DRAGONS

14. HAVANA -CAMILLA CABELLO featuring YOUNG THUG Like Beyonce did with Destiny’s Child, Camilla done told the rest of Fifth Harmony Good Day!

15. CASTLE ON THE HILL – ED SHEERAN

16. LEMON – NERD featuring RIHANNA

17. MAGNOLIA – PLAYBOY CARTI

18. (NO ONE KNOWS) LIKE THE PIANO – SAMPHA

19. NO LIMIT – G-EAZY featuring ASAP ROCKY & CARDI B

20. COLD LITTLE HEART – MICHAEL KIWANUKA Theme song of Big Little Lies, a great show on HBO

21. NEW YORK – ST VINCENT

22. THIRD OF MAY/ODAIGAHARA – FLEET FOXES

23. PA’LANTE – HURRAY FOR THE RIFFRAFF

24. I GET THE BAG -GUCCI MANE featuring MIGOS

25. ROCKSTAR – POST MALONE featuring 21 SAVAGE

TESTIFY – HIFI SEAN featuring CRYSTAL WATERS My most loved dance track this year, Crystal Waters has performed at least six or seven times at circuit party events I’ve attended over the years, and I have floated high as a kite countless times on the dance floor to this diva of the gay community’s songs!

“Now take me to your river
And lay me in your water
And preach to me
Tell me why I need your love
Why I got to have your love
Justify your love”

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Sunchyme for Our Marriage Equality

27 Saturday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Music is the Answer, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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best gay blog, civil rights, dance music, gay, gay culture, gay marriage, Gay Rights, john jernigan, LGBT, marriage equality, queer, Supreme Court, the gay road less traveled

SUNCHYME I wanted to post a feelgood song to celebrate our Marriage Equality, and Sunchyme always makes me happy. For us older folks, you will recognize the hook from the 80’s (Dream Academy’s Life in a Northern Town).

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Eyes Without Speaking

10 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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artist, best gay blog, dating, gay, john jernigan, lifestyle, love, poetry, quotes, relationships, sex, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled

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The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart – St. Jerome

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My Books my preciousss

10 Wednesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Books Check 'Em Out, Dogs is People Too

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authors, book reviews, books, culture, English, gay, john jernigan, lifestyle, literature, reading, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled, writers

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My trunk has been full of books for 2 months. I was finally able to unpack them, with sadly leaving some behind in Miami. Books are my best friends, after the 2 loves of my life Cricket and Squeak

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Sailing – DJ Icey

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Music is the Answer, My Favorite Things

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best gay blog, DJ, gay, LGBT, pop music, queer, Sailing Christopher Cross, Sailing DJ Icey, St. Petersburg Florida, Tampa Florida, the 80's, the gay road less traveled

Well it’s not far down to paradise, at least’s not for me
If the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility
Oh the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see, believe me

It’s not far to never, neverland, reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy of innocence again
Oh the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see, believe me

Sailing takes me away
To where I’ve always heard it
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free

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My New Boyfriend

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, the Flaming Homosexual

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best gay blog, foodie, funny, gay, George Clooney, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, queer, Saint Petersburg Florida, Tampa Florida, the gay road less traveled

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My lover brought me dumplings from Hunan Wok, fried hard with extra dipping sauce because he’s all attentive and knows what I like and whatnot. We’re going to eat dumplings and watch a movie (of my choosing). Yes, he bears an uncanny resemblance to George Clooney and No, he is not a fig newton of my imagination. ‪#‎rainbowfignewtons‬

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late Memorial Day Remembrance

02 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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best gay blog, daddy issues, gay, john jernigan, LGBT, love, Memorial Day, perspective, point of view, queer, relationships, the gay road less traveled

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My Pop, Graham Caldwell, a Korean war veteran, and also my father, a Vietnam vet (that I never really knew)

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*UCK *E IN THE *SS TONIGHT

29 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit, the Flaming Homosexual

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best gay blog, funny, games, gay, gay sex, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, perpspective, point of view, pop culture, the gay road less traveled

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer

18 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart

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Chewbacca, Darth Vader, gay, J.J. Abrams, Jaina Solo, Luke Skywalker, Lupita Nyong'o Asajj Ventress, movie reviews, movies, science fiction, star wars, Star Wars The Force Awakens, the gay road less traveled

Luke is talking about Jaina Solo, daughter of Han Solo & Leia Organa, in this trailer. Jaina is the most powerful Jedi of the New Order, known as the Sword of the Jedi. Her twin brother Jacen Solo is equally as strong, however he is lured to the dark side of the Force, becoming the Sith Lord Darth Cadeus. The twins have a younger brother, Anakin, and Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker have a son who grows strong in the Force, young Ben Skywalker. Lowbacca is Jaina’s Chewbacca, his mother is Chewie’s sister, but unlike Chewie Lowie is a powerful Jedi in his own right. Dathomirian Dark Jedi Asajj Ventress, who I love, is reportedly the beautiful Lupita Nyong’o, who I love. Finally, J.J. Abrams is possibly the cutest man in the world.

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Jaina Solo & Lowbacca

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Jaina & Jacen Solo, Lowbacca, Tenel Ka, Anakin Solo, Zekk & Tahiri Veila (droid is Em-Teedee, Lowie’s sidekick)

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Lupita: Asajj Ventress

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J.J. Abrams John-Jernigan-Abrams

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Social Work Slave Wages vs. Prostitution

12 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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best gay blog, crime, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, LGBT, perspective, prostitution, queer, social worker, the gay road less traveled

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This $1 box of fruit whirls, $1 bologna and 49 cent potted meat have to last all week!John’s finances are leading him back to the prostitution! straight prostitution obviously ‪#‎nogay4pay‬

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The Gay Road Less Traveled $2.99 on Amazon

12 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Heart, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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authors, autobiographies, best gay blog, book reviews, books, dogs, french bulldog, gay, john jernigan, lifestyle, memoirs, the gay road less traveled, writers

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My book “The Gay Road Less Traveled” $2.99 on Amazon, supermodel Cricket and artwork by the super talented Matt Mateo Humphrey

please...

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The Winter Party (an outsider’s perspective)

09 Monday Mar 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the Flaming Homosexual

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best gay blog, buy John's book $2.99 on Amazon, circuit party, DJ Alyson Calagna, DJ Deanne, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, South Beach Miami, the gay road less traveled, The Winter Party 2015, Winter Party Festival

So proud of myself, I got Ricky Martin and Alexis Arquette up in my video!

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Whorin’ the Cruise Lines

22 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in Funny Shit, the Flaming Homosexual

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best gay blog, cruise ships, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, perspective, point of view, South Beach Miami, south Florida, the gay road less traveled, tourism, travel

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Hypothetically speaking, a person can make a lot of money turning tricks when the cruise ships are in port ‪#‎themoreyouknow‬ — at Port of Miami

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#thestruggle

19 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by johnjernigan in My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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buy John's book on Amazon, crime, drugs, fort lauderdale, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, perspective, point of view, South Beach Miami, the gay road less traveled, the struggle

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I was out on a stroll with my bitches (a stroll not the stroll) on Washington Avenue when I spied with my good eye (the big one) a box of BC powders and a bunch of little plastic bags all brand-new.

A) Some tourists was bout to get suckered but 5oh had rolled through and they got slung in a panic
B) Some nice old lady was jewelry collecting and got a awful headache
C) Jesus or Allah or Buddha or Tupac really wants me to start selling drugs again ?

46

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I Love Books!

17 Saturday May 2014

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@thejohnjernigan, Augusten Burroughs, authors, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon $3.99, Chuck Palahniuk, culture, dating, David Sedaris, essays, fiction, gay, gay dating, home decor, IKEA, interior design, Jim Butcher, John Burdett, LGBT, libraries, lifestyle, love, memoirs, R.A. Salvatore, relationships, sex, short stories, the gay road less traveled, used books, writers

I Love Books!

Home alone on this Saturday, with no money and no man, I organized my library and discovered I am RICH!…in books. I do have several date possibilities for tonight, with different men, including Jim Butcher, Chuck Palahniuk, John Burdett and R.A. Salvatore.

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Books Check 'Em Out, My Favorite Things, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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Panda Dogs

13 Tuesday May 2014

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animals, boston terrier, China, Chinese culture, Chow Chow, culture, cute, dogs, french bulldog, funny, gay, humor, Lesbian, LGBT, Life, lifestyle, love, panda dogs, pandas, pets, Taiwan, the gay road less traveled

Panda Dogs

I was so excited to see this new breed of cute Chow, until I figured out they are dyed to look like pandas 😦 Too much work for me, my pandas rarely even get a bath. Of course this practice is ultra trendy and popular in China right now…oh well, at least they ain’t gettin’ ate.

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2014-02-02_09.28.19

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things

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My Career as a Prostitute

12 Monday May 2014

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animals, authors, boston terrier, Cricket the French Bulldog, cute, cute pics, dogs, ebook, french bulldog, gay, gay dating, Kindle app, LGBT, love, Mateo L'artiste, new orleans, pets, short stories, Squeak the Boston Terrier, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled, writers

My Career as a Prostitute

Artwork by Mateo L’Artiste , from my book The Gay Road Less Traveled – John Jernigan $3.99 on Kindle…the Kindle app is free for any smart phone by the way

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April Fool’s, a regrettably awkward blunder

03 Thursday Apr 2014

Tags

Alabama, April Fool's, authors, Birmingham, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon $3.99, depression, essays, fort lauderdale, funny, gay, humor, Kindle app is free, Lesbian, LGBT, memoirs, Pensacola, queer, short stories, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled, writers

April Fool's, a regrettably awkward blunder

I had this great idea to send messages to four men on the facebook telling them how much I liked them, that I cared about them, that I would would wait on them for “as long as it took”, that I knew they cared about me, and finally that I was in their city and wanted to hookup asap. Brilliant, right? Of these 4 guys, three are in relationships and the 4th is…eccentric. Here is my message to them:

“Hi GUYS NAME, I know it’s been a while since we had any communication. I just wanted to tell you that I still like you a lot, and I miss you. I feel like we had a real connection, and you are still the most adorable guy that I have ever seen…so 100% just my type. In my own way, I had such a true crush on you, and actually started to care about you. I get the impression that you really liked me too, I know you did, and I think you would easily start to care about me if you allow yourself the opportunity. Listen, I am coming to Ft. Lauderdale/Birmingham/Pensacola this weekend and I really, really would love to hook up with you. I would love to have you come spend the night with me here, anytime you drive over/down. I hope we can make a true “love connection” and I’m prepared to wait on you, for as long as it takes! You should also buy a copy of my book, after all, you have your own chapter (I used GUYS 1st Name Last Initial when describing you)…have a good day handsome yours truly, seriously YOURS TRULY John Jernigan

Sounds pretty good, right? Not so much…

My 1st guy, who I actually did develop an online crush/affection for last year, messaged me back with the quickness! “Hey guy! Awww, so nice! Are you here through Sunday? I have to go see my dad this weekend, won’t be back until late Sunday” He had his escape plan ready to roll!

The 2nd guy, the cutest little fella that ever lived, responded “i was and am at a bit of a loss for words… very flattered of course…” When I messaged him back later with April Fool’s he didn’t respond, just ignored me

Guy #3, my smart, distinguished and eccentric friend, replied “Hey John, glad to hear all is well. I’m moving to Savannah, GA within the month, Stay in touch. ” Glad to hear all is well? I just told you I was smitten and stuff…you responded with well sorry leaving the state 😦

The 4th, and final, guy’s response was sad and truly made me realize the mistake this April Fool’s attempt at funny was. This sweet fella, let’s call him “Beth”, is smart and sweet and also the first and only man my age that I have ever shared uhh physical affection with…I sent him my message, no response, nothing. At around 10 p.m. I logged into the facebook to wish him an April Fool’s and: he had unfriended me! I can’t even tell him it was a prank, whatever he did he really did, like he disappeared entirely to me, he made himself invisible, even in searches. I hope he will read this and understand I was just trying to be funny, as usual. What’s not funny and is actually kind of sad is that I would love to have any of these 4 beautiful men for my own…but I will likely always be alone, trying to be funny and trying to make everyone laugh, while I just want to cry.

8 Head Start

SabanKiff (1)

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

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April Fool’s, a small success

03 Thursday Apr 2014

Tags

April Fool's, authors, book reviews, books, buy John's book on Amazon $3.99, essays, funny, gay, humor, Kindle app is free, Lesbian, LGBT, memoirs, queer, short stories, St. Petersburg, tampa, the gay road less traveled, writers

April Fool's, a small success

This year I made the effort to celebrate this holy holiday, with a couple of different facebook posts. Here is my first post:

I want to say Thank you! to all 27 of you who bought my book for $3.99 on Amazon 😦 I have some fantastic news, I signed a contract with a $15,000 advance from Random House for my soon-to-be-published 2nd offering, Giggle, which should be released by summer.

Nancy, Brenda, Anna and 41 others like this.

Jamie: Ok….if this is an April Fool’s joke…it ain’t funny. If it is not…Congratulations!!!!!!
April 1 at 9:25am · Unlike · 2

Pamela: No one in their right mind would give you $15,000 in ‘advance’
April 1 at 9:34am · Unlike · 3

Glen: GREAT NEWS JOHN!!! I knew it would Blow Up for You!
April 1 at 10:22am · Unlike · 1

June: If this is another one of your jokes I am done with you!
April 1 at 11:12am · Unlike · 4

June: You have to understand my doubts. You have tricked me MANY times before!

Me, late that night:
April Fool’s Bitches!

John Jernigan: Sadly, this is an April Fool’s Post! I really just wanted to put it out there that less than 30 of my facebook friends have purchased my book, reminding you that the Kindle app is FREE for any cell phone and my book costs $3.99 A publishing house did tell me that if I could self promote and sell 1000 copies or so, they would likely pay for a 5000 book press: only have to sell like 920 more 😦

The good news is that through guilt or clever marketing or whatever, 8 copies were bought in the next 2 days…bringing my sales total to like 53 😦

2 All Cried Out

11 Cruising Barnes Nobles

7 Career Prostitute

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My Book is Published!!!

31 Tuesday Dec 2013

Tags

Amazon, authors, autobiography, culture, dating, funny, gay, humor, john jernigan, kindle, LGBT, memoirs, queer, relationships, the gay road less traveled, writer

My Book is Published!!!

The Gay Road Less Traveled – John Jernigan
available on Amazon for Kindle

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under Books Check 'Em Out

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2000 Miles – The Pretenders

24 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by johnjernigan in Music is the Answer

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Tags

2000 miles, Chrissy Hynde, Christmas, Christmas music, dating, gay, holidays, john jernigan, LGBT, love, music, relationships, the gay road less traveled, The Pretenders

He’s gone,
2000 miles,
Is very far.
The snows falling down.
It’s colder day by day.
I miss you.
The children were singing,
He’ll be back at Christmas time.
And these frozen and silent nights,
Sometimes in a dream,
You appear.
Outside under the purple sky,
Diamonds in the snow,
Sparkle.
Our hearts were singing,
It felt like Christmas time.
2000 miles.
Is very far through the snow
I’ll think of you
Wherever you go.

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MMM, BACON !

23 Monday Dec 2013

Tags

Bacon, Chritmas, funny, gay, gay blogger, humor, john jernigan, the gay road less traveled, Yankee Candle

MMM, BACON !

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Posted by johnjernigan | Filed under My Favorite Things

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The Gay Road Less Traveled

A friend of mine who used to be one of the hard working under appreciated social workers for the State here in Pensacola has written a book now available on Kindle, John Jernigan’s “The Gay Road Less Traveled.” I purchased it tonight to start it, couldn’t out it down, it was so funny. Graphic, real, and hysterical, John’s writing is endearing, funny, smart and if you happen to be drinking coffee, it may shoot out of your nose at some point during one of his vignettes. You can read it on Kindle.

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